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"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
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送情
青青子衿
童生


Joined: 03 Jun 2013
Posts: 3

青青子衿Collection
PostPosted: 2013-06-03 16:34:27    Post subject: 送情 Reply with quote

白水青山故地外,孤蓬万里征人别。
迷津木落天际看,云外风声罹寒接。
萧萧班马绕城周,漫漫长途采薇欲。
端正凄殇仍傲骨,沦落天涯勿君决。

注:白水,明净的水。
孤蓬,飞蓬,飞乱的头发。
征人,远行的人。
迷津,迷失的道路。
木落,树木落叶的样子。
天际,天边。
罹寒接,接连遭受寒冷。
采薇,薇是一种植物,相传周武灭商后伯夷、叔齐不愿归服,在首阳山采薇而食,最终饿死。这里使用反语,指高洁之人以此为趣。
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2013-06-05 05:15:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

用詞幽雅,筆墨婉转!
請問青青子衿:此诗是否采用古体仄韵格?〝别、接、决〞全为第十八部入声韵!或是你使用了〝新韵〞?但在〝新韵〞中〝别、接、决〞为〝三皆〞之平声,而〝欲〞为〝十二齐〞之去声呢?供你参攷。
問好!
_________________
诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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