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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

孤独的灯盏

姚阳辉
秀才

Joined: 04 Apr 2013
Posts: 139
Location: 中国陕西
姚阳辉Collection

Posted: 2013-06-03 15:15:04 Post subject: 孤独的灯盏

一盏灯置身灵魂深处太阳落山了月亮躲进云层微弱的烛光，用尽所有的力气照亮内心的孤独无边的夜色想用黑扑灭每一个亮点用力拍打窗户的风穿透骨髓一再压弯伸直的火焰挣扎的火舌，猛一转身刚好舔到心灵的软肋流淌的烛泪顺势打开思想的阀门

山城子
榜眼

Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection

Posted: 2013-06-03 17:39:38 Post subject:

觉得缺乏内在的节奏感。哈——个人感觉罢了！ _________________ 诗是人生的雅伴儿。

姚阳辉
秀才

Joined: 04 Apr 2013
Posts: 139
Location: 中国陕西
姚阳辉Collection

Posted: 2013-06-05 11:12:31 Post subject:

山城子 wrote:

觉得缺乏内在的节奏感。哈——个人感觉罢了！

谢谢指点，问好！

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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