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"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
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走进浴室
辉之宴
童生


Joined: 15 Jul 2008
Posts: 73
Location: 中国 湖北
辉之宴Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-19 13:04:56    Post subject: 走进浴室 Reply with quote

走进浴室

五点半,下班
六点半,晚餐
看完新闻联播,七点半
八点了,该洗洗忙碌一日的疲倦
  
走进浴室,小小的天地
解除束缚,揭开伪装
赤裸的真实
本很平常
对外却衣冠楚楚,故作神秘
  
走进浴室,小小的天地
是因为满身的污垢需要洗涤
尘世里东奔西走
谁能做到一尘不染
世人对于莲花的赞美
只是一种美好的希冀
污垢日积月累
亦会根深蒂固
因此要勇于面对,不要躲避
  
走进浴室,小小的天地
弥漫的雾气
像一团花香
幸福把我襁褓一样包裹
而雾,朦胧、飘忽
可以借此,好好想想
该以怎样的姿势驾驭
  
走进浴室,小小的天地
水温,可以随心调节
水速,可以任意控制
这种自我主张
在我走出浴室的时候
就全变了
因此,有必要好好练习、练习
  
八点半,我躺在床上
收不拢放飞的翅膀……
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`~诗歌,你不要离她太近~.
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山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-19 19:26:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

题旨与文本的比例,需要调整。题旨不是很大,文本却挺有长度。个见。问好!!
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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