| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-16 14:08:15    Post subject: (原创)诉衷情-桃源春色 |   |  
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				| 文/笑聊 
 行来一路树新装,(稍作修改)
 
 却道裹春光。
 
 桃红但见初蕊,
 
 已欲起飞扬。
 
 
 
 承雨露,
 
 显池旁。
 
 细思量。
 
 几多春色,
 
 谁料心怀,
 
 意在清芳!
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		| 莹雪 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 28 Sep 2006
 Posts: 2520
 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
 莹雪Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-16 14:12:53    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 喜下阙气定神闲 |  | 
	
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-16 18:16:14    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 这是桃源诗社的征文词,要交差,胡乱涂鸦,莹雪妹见笑了。
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		| 影沉寒水 举人
 
  
 Joined: 16 Feb 2010
 Posts: 1145
 Location: 中国福建
 影沉寒水Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-16 18:41:30    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 满眼全是绿新装, 
 却道裹春光。
 
 却表示转折?
 _________________
 诗无涯。思在线
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-16 19:23:17    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 影沉寒水 wrote: |  
	  | 满眼全是绿新装, 
 却道裹春光。
 
 却表示转折?
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 明明新绿就是春光,有意用了“却”“裹”,“却”退一步,让春光裹一下,(事实也是如此)实则为下阕作铺垫。欲扬先抑,不知寒水兄是否这么认为?
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		| 莹雪 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 28 Sep 2006
 Posts: 2520
 Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
 莹雪Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-17 07:40:31    Post subject: |   |  
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兄不必过谦,兄之小令的确很好。 
	  | 笑聊 wrote: |  
	  | 这是桃源诗社的征文词,要交差,胡乱涂鸦,莹雪妹见笑了。
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 Joined: 02 Oct 2006
 Posts: 14102
 Location: TORONTO
 白水Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-17 21:18:38    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 意在清芳 
 点睛
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		| 黄洋界 探花
 
  
 Joined: 23 Mar 2007
 Posts: 3301
 Location: 多伦多,加拿大
 黄洋界Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-18 09:40:34    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 意在清芳,结句清丽。 _________________
 ++++++++++++++
 喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-19 20:33:52    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 白水 Moonlight wrote: |  
	  | 意在清芳 
 点睛
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 问好白水!桃花之为春,确实意在清芳!
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-19 20:35:30    Post subject: |   |  
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 问候黄老师!
 
 谢谢老师赞誉点评鼓励!
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		| 白云闲人 探花
 
 
 Joined: 26 Aug 2007
 Posts: 3466
 
 白云闲人Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-20 05:55:03    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 雨露润春色,意境透清芳! _________________
 诗中岁月,
 笛里关山.
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-20 07:10:30    Post subject: |   |  
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 问好白云老师!谢谢老师的透彻赏评。
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 14 Oct 2007
 Posts: 4110
 
 qinghonghCollection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-20 08:46:34    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 水墨江南在无锡,桃源诗社在何方? |  | 
	
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-20 20:22:31    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | qinghongh wrote: |  
	  | 水墨江南在无锡,桃源诗社在何方? |  
 问好庆宏兄!桃源诗社,在网易《桃源居》。庆宏兄不妨有便去看一下。
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 14 Oct 2007
 Posts: 4110
 
 qinghonghCollection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-21 06:19:19    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 谢谢! |  | 
	
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		| 白云闲人 探花
 
 
 Joined: 26 Aug 2007
 Posts: 3466
 
 白云闲人Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-21 09:11:57    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 請問笑聊,网易《桃源居》的网址是怎样?待我精神好些時也去学习学习。謝謝! _________________
 诗中岁月,
 笛里关山.
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-21 20:21:11    Post subject: |   |  
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				| [quote="白云闲人"]請問笑聊,网易《桃源居》的网址是怎样?待我精神好些時也去学习学习。謝謝 |  | 
	
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		| 白云闲人 探花
 
 
 Joined: 26 Aug 2007
 Posts: 3466
 
 白云闲人Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-22 05:03:40    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 笑聊,百度的网址又是怎样?我也没有呢。 _________________
 诗中岁月,
 笛里关山.
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		| 笑聊 探花
 
 
 Joined: 05 Jan 2010
 Posts: 3448
 Location: 中国江苏无锡
 笑聊Collection
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		| 白云闲人 探花
 
 
 Joined: 26 Aug 2007
 Posts: 3466
 
 白云闲人Collection
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				|  Posted: 2013-03-23 00:49:16    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 謝謝笑聊! _________________
 诗中岁月,
 笛里关山.
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