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一个词,从海水中升起1[2]  Next
William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2013-03-06 20:22:08    Post subject: 一个词,从海水中升起 Reply with quote

一个词,从海水中升起

周道模

海水泡出的嫩芽,红红的

一个词,带着红红的热,从海水中

慢慢地,羞羞地,升起一团命运

这个词,有梦一样的圆,吻别了苦水

这个词,有心一样的热,烘亮了天地

我听见这个词说话

带出亿万年深度的黑暗

我看见这个词奔跑

留下万物疯长跟随的脚音

这个毁灭的词啊,飓风是声母

卷舌吞了希望的航船

这个情欲的词啊,光芒是韵母

押韵融化冰雪,催绿了生命

从我噩梦的海水中,一个词

呢喃着,破壳幽暗的历史

向开花的黎明,缓缓地,升起

2012-10-31 晨 8:00 连山
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hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2013-03-06 20:27:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

写得很抒情和优美

问好
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杨光
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PostPosted: 2013-03-06 22:09:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

生活之美,词语之媚!
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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2013-03-07 07:38:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
写得很抒情和优美

问好


问好和平岛!谢谢鼓励!
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山城子
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PostPosted: 2013-03-07 16:11:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

谜语似的!!问好,不知道是哪个词呢!
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William Zhou周道模
探花


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PostPosted: 2013-03-08 05:20:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

杨光 wrote:
生活之美,词语之媚!


谢谢杨光的读感!春光问候!
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风墙
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PostPosted: 2013-03-08 17:40:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

读起来很美!
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William Zhou周道模
探花


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PostPosted: 2013-03-09 07:43:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

山城子 wrote:
谜语似的!!问好,不知道是哪个词呢!


感谢山城子老师的读问!

有的诗好读好懂却不耐品,诗意浅露。有的诗不好读连诗人都读不懂,是伪诗。有的诗读多遍才懂耐品味有深意,是好诗。我这首想写成第三种,可能还不到家。请多批评。
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白水
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PostPosted: 2013-03-09 08:50:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
山城子 wrote:
谜语似的!!问好,不知道是哪个词呢!


感谢山城子老师的读问!
...


问好道模,说实话,这首诗歌我读了几遍也没猜到是哪个词,一直在等你给老师回帖说出答案,结果还是没有 Wink
太阳?连不上毁灭和情欲,当然,不妨考虑火灾,欲火,,,,,,但从诗歌结构看,中间夹这么一小节又不明白诗人想表达怎样的情绪。凡此种种,最后决定把太阳否了,看来还是等你的答案吧 Very Happy
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冷雨
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PostPosted: 2013-03-09 11:06:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好老师!春天快乐!
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William Zhou周道模
探花


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PostPosted: 2013-03-09 11:50:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

风墙 wrote:
读起来很美!


谢谢风墙的读感!春天好!
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William Zhou周道模
探花


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PostPosted: 2013-03-10 09:01:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
William Zhou周道模 wrote:
山城子 wrote:
谜语似的!!问好,不知道是哪个词呢!


感谢山城子老师的读问!
...


问好道模,说实话,这首诗歌我读了几遍也没猜到是哪个词,一直在等你给老师回帖说出答案,结果还是没有 Wink
太阳?连不上毁灭和情欲,当然,不妨考虑火灾,欲火,,,,,,但从诗歌结构看,中间夹这么一小节又不明白诗人想表达怎样的情绪。凡此种种,最后决定把太阳否了,看来还是等你的答案吧 Very Happ
...


谢谢白水君的多次深读!对“一个意象”,我们不能用科学知识去解释,主观情绪会变形自然形象。这个“词”,在不同的读者心中会有不同的感受和联想,能引起读者的情绪波动、思考、探寻、就基本实现了诗歌的效益。
李商隐的《无题》诗在今天仍有不同的解释啊。
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金金
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PostPosted: 2013-03-10 15:26:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

确实很有意思
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远狼
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PostPosted: 2013-03-10 22:58:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

我猜这个词是”太阳”
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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2013-03-11 06:27:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

冷雨 wrote:
问好老师!春天快乐!



冷雨下在春天树木依然欢迎。 Laughing

谢谢读赏和问候!春天快乐!
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William Zhou周道模
探花


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PostPosted: 2013-03-12 08:08:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

金金 wrote:
确实很有意思



谢谢金金的读感!春天梦美!
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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2013-03-13 06:50:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

远狼 wrote:
我猜这个词是”太阳”



聪明的猜测!春天的问候!
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青洋
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PostPosted: 2013-03-14 04:13:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

讀者心中也許有自己的那個詞,那麼詩人在寫這首詩時,到底想的是哪個詞呢?請指明。
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William Zhou周道模
探花


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PostPosted: 2013-03-14 21:28:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

青洋 wrote:
讀者心中也許有自己的那個詞,那麼詩人在寫這首詩時,到底想的是哪個詞呢?請指明。


谢谢青洋君的追问!就是上层楼那位猜测的词。
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吴端择
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PostPosted: 2013-03-15 21:51:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

敢情是一出相声?一人逗,一群人捧。
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