北美楓 首頁
   北美文学网 | 移民园地 | 皮皮金工作室 | 漂木藝術家協會 | 诗海 | 乐岛
"华河杯"2007中外华文诗歌联赛暨华文民间报刊联展于2007年元旦正式开始。终评委:洛夫、非马、巫逖、谢冕、高平、向明、痖弦、陈铭华,Lorna Crozier写英文评语。 本次比赛得到上海华河工贸有限公司董事长何小芳先生的大力赞助。
  
 常見問題與解答常見問題與解答   搜索搜索   成員列錶成員列錶   成員組成員組   註册註册  個人資料個人資料    查看留言查看留言   登陸登陸   博客群博客群    博客新聞博客新聞   照相簿照相簿 
英文版 双语版 中文版
诗词字典 Dict 格律检验 Check 诗词搜索 Search 音乐频道 Music

北美楓 首頁 -> English Poetry 發錶新帖   回復帖子
The Geisha—A Sequel
Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 12:25:48    發錶主題: The Geisha—A Sequel 引用並回復

The Geisha—A Sequel

After Sakura plunges
into deep water
Sayuri, too, plunges
into a void. Petals
discolored, mind entombed.

Inevitably, cherry blossoms
drowned as doomed,
while Sayuri incarnated
as Mistress of Chairman—
her new Danna.

Can a nirvana searched
be reached?
Tears of ecstasy
streaming down her eyes,
gray, misty.

Years proceed.

Uprooted and transplanted,
Sayuri and Chairman
now reside in New York City
to shun away from unspoken
gossip over the heir
to the family's property.

Chairman grows weaker
and weaker, and not long,
leaves Sayuri behind.
Like a kite with a broken
string, she's more puzzled
and scared than sad.

What then, is her destiny?
Blown off the branches
Sakura falls and cries.
Oh dear, oh dear.

Grass turns green and brown.
A stunning debut unveils
a slender, short-haired woman.
In an altered black Kimono,
she plays a violin with her
once-Samisen-playing-hands.
Simple grace and delicacy!

In oblivion, her eyes half closed.
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow
that sings on her heart-strings,
mesmerizing the entire audience
with her melody—
"Memoirs of a Geisha".

With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.

Sakura unfolds and blooms…


.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
kokho
进士出身


註册時間: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
來自: Singapore
kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 12:30:56    發錶主題: 引用並回復

WELL DONE MY FRIEND Wink

Can a nirvana searched be reached?

THIS IS THE SENTENCE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND...

searched = quest ???
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
kokho
进士出身


註册時間: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
來自: Singapore
kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 12:32:23    發錶主題: 引用並回復

Simple grace and delicacy....

delicacy CAN THIS WORD BE USED EXCEPT TO DESCRIBE FOOD?
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
kokho
进士出身


註册時間: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
來自: Singapore
kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 12:33:31    發錶主題: 引用並回復

With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.

With = AFTER ???

.
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
kokho
进士出身


註册時間: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
來自: Singapore
kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 12:36:08    發錶主題: 引用並回復

Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow

HER HEAD GYRATES IN UNISON WITH THE BOW (MELODY) ??
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 12:51:49    發錶主題: 引用並回復

kokho 寫到:
WELL DONE MY FRIEND Wink

Can a nirvana searched be reached?

THIS IS THE SENTENCE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND...

searched = quest ???


Embarassed

I read it somewhere in Rexroth's Complete Poems, something like, a nirvana with desire cannot be reached.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 12:53:28    發錶主題: 引用並回復

kokho 寫到:
Simple grace and delicacy....

delicacy CAN THIS WORD BE USED EXCEPT TO DESCRIBE FOOD?


I... guess...so... Wink
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 12:59:43    發錶主題: 引用並回復

kokho 寫到:
With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.

With = AFTER ???

.


I meant at the same time, because of it, not after.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 13:10:45    發錶主題: 引用並回復

kokho 寫到:
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow

HER HEAD GYRATES IN UNISON WITH THE BOW (MELODY) ??


I was trying to describe how her body moves while playing.
But definitely not "Gyrate", that is going to make her dizzy.

Thanks for your scrutiny. I'll mull it over. Smile
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
kokho
进士出身


註册時間: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
來自: Singapore
kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 13:28:01    發錶主題: 引用並回復

Lake 寫到:
kokho 寫到:
WELL DONE MY FRIEND Wink

Can a nirvana searched be reached?

THIS IS THE SENTENCE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND...

searched = quest ???


Embarassed

I read it somewhere in Rexroth's Complete Poems, something like, a nirvana with desire cannot be reached.


Seeking for Nirvana is a quest, not a search for most buddish Wink)
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
kokho
进士出身


註册時間: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
來自: Singapore
kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 13:30:33    發錶主題: 引用並回復

Lake 寫到:
kokho 寫到:
With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.

With = AFTER ???

.


I meant at the same time, because of it, not after.


IN RESPONSE TO A STANDING OVATION, HER HEART VIBRATES ??

.. SOMEHOW I FELT THE "WITH" IS OUT OF PLACE ....

.
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
kokho
进士出身


註册時間: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
來自: Singapore
kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-02 13:32:33    發錶主題: 引用並回復

Lake 寫到:
kokho 寫到:
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow

HER HEAD GYRATES IN UNISON WITH THE BOW (MELODY) ??


I was trying to describe how her body moves while playing.
But definitely not "Gyrate", that is going to make her dizzy.

Thanks for your scrutiny. I'll mull it over. Smile


I BELIEVE YOU CAN FIND A BETTER WORD THAN GYRATES ...

DO TRY TO VISIT WWW.DICTIONARY.COM ... YOU WILL FIND THE RIGHT WORD THERE...

..
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-03 05:44:41    發錶主題: 引用並回復

kokho 寫到:

Seeking for Nirvana is a quest, not a search for most buddish Wink)


Ignorant of buddhism, I thought seek, search and quest are synonyms. If not, then a nirvana searched cannot be attained.

Did you suggest "search" be replaced by quest?
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-03 05:46:34    發錶主題: 引用並回復

kokho 寫到:


IN RESPONSE TO A STANDING OVATION, HER HEART VIBRATES ??

.. SOMEHOW I FELT THE "WITH" IS OUT OF PLACE ....

.


"Her heart vibrates to the standing ovation", sounds in place?
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-03 05:54:24    發錶主題: 引用並回復

kokho 寫到:


I BELIEVE YOU CAN FIND A BETTER WORD THAN GYRATES ...

DO TRY TO VISIT WWW.DICTIONARY.COM ... YOU WILL FIND THE RIGHT WORD THERE...

..


Thanks for the link. Still looking. It is not a circular movement.
"Toss"?

That you raised many questions about this poem really made me happy. Thank you!

Much appreciation,

Lake
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
kokho
进士出身


註册時間: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
來自: Singapore
kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-03 10:12:29    發錶主題: 引用並回復

Discussion make me paying more attention to this second language of ours...

Cool Laughing

..
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-04 17:26:40    發錶主題: 引用並回復

(A revision is made based on an English friend's suggestion "my only tentative suggestion is to have a more defined tone of restraint (avoiding the directness of exclamations and questions). " Now all questions and exclamations are eliminated.)

As Sakura plunges
into deep water
Sayuri plunges, too
in an affair with a man—
a mere stranger. Petals
discolored, mind entombed.

Inevitably, cherry blossoms
drowned as doomed,
while Sayuri incarnated
as Mistress of Chairman—
her new Danna.

In an ecstasy of joy
tears streaming down
her eyes, grey and misty.

As years drift by...

Sayuri and Chairman
now reside in New York City.

Chairman grows weaker and weaker
and not long, leaves Sayuri behind.
Like a kite with a broken string,
she's more puzzled and scared than sad.

Blown off the branches
Sakura falls and cries.

Grass turns green and brown.
At a concert, a slender
short-haired woman
in an altered black kimono
plays a violin with her
once-Samisen-playing-hands.
Simple grace and delicacy.

Her eyes half closed.
Her head slightly throws back and forth.
Her body moves with the bow
that sings on her heart-strings.

“Memoirs of a Geisha”.

With a standing ovation
her heart vibrates.
Sakura blooms…

.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
kokho
进士出身


註册時間: 2006-11-30
帖子: 2642
來自: Singapore
kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-09 00:19:02    發錶主題: 引用並回復

需要时间 ;))

。。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
Lake
举人


註册時間: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-04-16 12:07:57    發錶主題: 引用並回復

kokho 寫到:
需要时间 ;))

。。


Yes, Sir.

以后什么时候吧。现在没心情。好像有点迷糊,想去研读一下 zen. Wink
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
返頁首
閱覽成員資料 發送私人留言 博客
從以前的帖子開始顯示:   
錶情圖案
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Exclamation Question Idea Arrow
更多錶情圖案
1頁/共1頁           閱讀上一個主題 閱讀下一個主題    
北美楓 首頁 -> English Poetry    發錶新帖   回復帖子
跳到:  
凡在本网站发表作品,即视为向《北美枫》杂志投稿。作品版权归原作者,观点与网站无关。请勿用于商业,宗教和政治。严禁人身攻击。管理员有权删除作品。上传图片,版权自负。