Maple Review Home
   Chinese Literature Society of North America | Maple Review | Immigrants in Canada | Angel Studio | The Driftwood Artist Society | Ocean of Poetry | Island of Music
"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister  ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Sign inSign in   BlogsBlogs    Weblogs NewsWeblogs News   AlbumAlbum 
English Home Bilingual Home Chinese Home
Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌 Post new topic   Reply to topic
《一切俱在》
风动
秀才


Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 290

风动Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-05 12:01:09    Post subject: 《一切俱在》 Reply with quote

《一切俱在》
---- 风动作

从悬崖的冰山下来与你汇合在溪水潺潺的河谷
和旷野,清风麦浪。我如影的轻盈掠过苍茫大地
我俯视的山川湖泊,波光艳影。那永恒的静谧
圣洁而丰盈。而我,丝毫未曾染足 

一切俱在:脚下的路和未曾从可能的秘闭中踏出
以沼泽的深含和杂芜的轻掩呈现着未曾呈现的一片
从期待的虚妄中回归,移开依赖的目光:
啊,多么完整而富足的世界啊,一切俱在

一切俱在:你浮光掠影的水面未曾缘起丝毫的涟漪
似变换莫测的云,终以雨的倾诉委身于大地,而大地
未曾留住丝毫的云雾,从未计较
从上面来来去去的:花开花落,沧海桑田

--2012年6月24日
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-05 13:09:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

心随风动,几分洒脱,几分爱恋,充满对自然的投入和赞美,对生活的真诚和超脱,一句话:从未计较,得失俱在笑谈中
_________________
写诗是为了写更好的诗
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog Visit poster's website
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-05 20:47:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错的一首。大气,超脱。这超脱又是建立在理性认知之后的升华,便更可贵了。比如:

以沼泽的深含和杂芜的轻掩呈现着未曾呈现的一片
从期待的虚妄中回归,移开依赖的目光:
啊,多么完整而富足的世界啊,一切俱在


似变换莫测的云,终以雨的倾诉委身于大地,而大地
未曾留住丝毫的云雾,从未计较
从上面来来去去的:花开花落,沧海桑田

喜欢这样的文字。

鸡蛋里挑点刺,文字似可再敛。比如:
从悬崖的冰山下来与你汇合在溪水潺潺的河谷
从一个境到另一个境,打开一个思绪的铺垫,我意无须太细。适当的减少修饰,似更直切主题
比如
从冰山(or峰whatever)下来与你汇合在溪水潺潺的河谷
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog
青洋
秀才


Joined: 25 Sep 2012
Posts: 342
Location: 溫哥華
青洋Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-07 03:17:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

如風在說話,在感受。
_________________
坐在方舟中的無用之人天天射落日的倒影
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog Visit poster's website
hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2012-10-07 04:01:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

自然流畅的美感
_________________
为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
风动
秀才


Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 290

风动Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-18 09:58:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢岛主、谢谢青洋的阅评。
谢谢白水,建议考虑中。问好!   Smile
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-19 04:53:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

交流而已,不必深思。问好 Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog
韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-19 06:10:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

阅读
_________________
靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog Visit poster's website
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-21 06:09:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

等新作
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-21 06:10:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

等新作
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog
风动
秀才


Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 290

风动Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-27 00:22:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢各位。周末问好!  Smile
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2012-10-27 00:43:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

good weekend
_________________
为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
山城子
榜眼


Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-27 15:21:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

磊落行于世,都在怀抱中!
_________________
诗是人生的雅伴儿。
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
Display posts from previous:   
Emoticons
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Exclamation Question Idea Arrow
View more Emoticons
Page 1 of 1           View previous topic View next topic    
Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌    Post new topic   Reply to topic
Jump to:  


Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME