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七 言
白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2012-03-21 06:50:16    Post subject: 七 言 Reply with quote

. . . 怡 然 . . .

山寂林幽怡鳥性,
水清湖影滌塵心。
闲書韵律揮香墨,
人淡园林奏月琴。
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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海蛎子
秀才


Joined: 01 Oct 2011
Posts: 199
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
海蛎子Collection
PostPosted: 2012-03-22 03:56:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

学一首 Laughing

林薄枝疏无鸟迹,雨轻溪缓澹波心。
雾沉微冽春分后,一盏陈茶拥上琴。
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2012-03-22 17:06:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝謝海蛎子和詩!
海蛎子,结句的〝拥〞字是否应为〝湧〞字呢?
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海蛎子
秀才


Joined: 01 Oct 2011
Posts: 199
Location: 臭豆腐作坊
海蛎子Collection
PostPosted: 2012-03-23 10:38:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
謝謝海蛎子和詩!
海蛎子,结句的〝拥〞字是否应为〝湧〞字呢?


白云闲人老师,我的结句的字节是这样分的:一盏 陈茶 拥上 琴,如果使用“涌”作为字眼,结句过于激烈,显得不够扎实,回旋的余地不大,也就是通常所说的不稳。
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2012-03-24 06:39:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

海蛎子,謝謝你的相互交流!
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2012-09-26 07:47:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好白云老师!好久没上网了,原因是上不来。现在终于能上了,但又见不到白云老师,

只能呼唤:恬淡人生笔下田,耕耘辛苦似鸣蝉。

枫园觅得春秋句,半是休闲半是颠。
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秋叶
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Joined: 17 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: 2012-10-23 07:13:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

学习了, 问好二位。
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冰清
同进士出身


Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-23 09:35:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

问候白云兄!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2012-10-23 09:42:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

真想白云老师了
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2012-10-28 09:17:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝謝笑聊、秋叶、冰清、白水众诗友,問好!
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

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PostPosted: 2012-10-28 09:24:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

接笑聊和诗一首:

恬淡人生赋诗篇 ,
耕耘辛苦乐心田 。
楓园觅得众朋友 ,
半是休闲享华年 。
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2012-10-30 19:28:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好白云老师!好久没见到您了。
您的这首诗,境界比我的那首高,学习了。 Embarassed
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

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PostPosted: 2012-10-31 05:30:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊,互相学习,共同分享!
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