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投第三期 <<铜 锣>>
杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-28 16:18:26    Post subject: 投第三期 <<铜 锣>> Reply with quote

铜 锣


我说的是一面铜锣
一面在夜晚照耀乡村大地的铜锣
一只在睡梦中行进的蛹
现在它醒了
一些清晰的模糊的意象从里面飞出来
像从麦地里受惊疯起的鸟儿们


神汉潘叔开始跳舞了
二神七婶开始唱神调了
扭动的身体像蛇像狐像黄仙
那躲藏在房前屋后的
隐匿在草丛坟墓中的精灵们
都出来吧


沉默寡言的父亲从铜锣里走出来了
满面泪水的母亲从铜锣里走出来了
妹妹恢儿从铜锣里走出来了
她瘦弱的身体摇晃
像没有长成的谷穗
走在秋天泥泞的路上


我看见了细碎扬起的麦花
月光里金黄色的细针
轻轻划动浆橹的翅膀
南山崴
在沸扬的掌声里
正被大雪静静地覆盖


今夜 在城市低矮的屋檐下
看满天的星斗飞如蚂蝗
它升起来了
像时光巨大的影子
岁月里流浪的一粒尘埃
它苍白 虚弱 模糊
像妹妹恢儿的脸
在它的照耀下
古老的南山崴
神秘 寂静 庄稼浩荡........
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-28 18:27:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

写得很投入,但这铜锣到底它是做什么的呢?没直接说清楚,没表达好。
问好先生”)
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-29 20:53:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

神秘的一面铜锣.
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-30 22:01:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢金金诗人!!!我写的“铜锣”这个意象,是家乡跳大神用的一种乐器。跳大神,是一种给病人治病的方法。一共有两人,大神和二神,和巫师差不多。下神时,燃上三柱香,神仙就附体了(有蛇仙、狐仙、黄仙等),二神边敲铜锣边发问,大神边跳边唱神调回答。我在小说故事栏目里发了一篇小说《神调》,里面记录得很详细。呵呵,福治兄,我可不是推荐我的小说啊。祝好诗人。
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-31 00:51:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢福治诗人赏读!祝好诗人!!!!!!!!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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司马策风
举人


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-31 00:57:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

富有生活气息。语言很有吸引力。
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-31 18:33:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢司马诗人赏读!!!问候诗人!
_________________
走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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