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剪梦手的眼泪
kli
秀才


Joined: 30 Mar 2007
Posts: 193
Location: LONDON
kliCollection
PostPosted: 2007-03-30 10:19:41    Post subject: 剪梦手的眼泪 Reply with quote

剪梦手的眼泪

剪梦手的眼泪一如果剪梦手会流泪
那只蝴蝶
从我世界的一个缺口
闯入,栖在我的梦境

接着又飞入一只,又一只
一共七只,
七只完整的蝴蝶
翅膀是七彩的斑斓
七只完整的蝴蝶
在苍莽的梦境 跳起创世之初爱神编导的舞
七只完整的蝴蝶
我的无常剪剪去它们的双翼
七只完整的蝴蝶
就这样葬在我的梦境


天地间,只有我的织梦妹妹 知道
我的世界的那个缺口

剪梦手的眼泪一如果剪梦手会流泪
我的梦境
我已用泪水将它冲刷
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在剪梦堡寻找黄斌成
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-03-31 00:00:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

梦本来就是虚幻里的真实
织又剪
表达出了很浓厚的情感

你这个剪梦手意象很有新意
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司马策风
举人


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-31 01:05:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

意象别致,某些句子的语言似可打磨。

问好来自伦敦的kli
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《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676
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