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悬疑抓你往下读——“挑战”美句摘读[3]
山城子
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PostPosted: 2012-08-13 10:23:25    Post subject: 悬疑抓你往下读——“挑战”美句摘读[3] Reply with quote

悬疑抓你往下读——“挑战”美句摘读[3]
文/ 山城子


原诗:

文/圣歆

一想到这个字,豌豆花就开了
一支,两支。画笔削成紫色,从村头响到村尾
别在腰际的红丝绸舞动秧歌
丰收的磬音,从五月的麦瓮流窜
六月的新娘贴着窗花,在月夜的炕头
胳肢,咯吱

美句:
一想到这个字,豌豆花就开了

摘读:

为什么想到“鼓浪屿”的“鼓”字,“豌豆花就开了”呢?这里面一定有很美的故事!于是读者就被抓住了。
诚然,体会这句的美,需要读下去,再回来回味。
其实2-3行也是美句,美在“画笔削成紫色”的比喻与“紫色”的借代,动词“响”的通感式活用,“村”的复沓,以及无主句(第3行)的“省介”处理(两行五次积极修辞)。
这样,回头看“豌豆花”,原是用来比喻鼓浪屿的姑娘们的。正值待嫁的年龄,该鼓的地方当然鼓的像豌豆花那样的曲线了。果然,夏收(4-5行)之后,他们就做了新娘。多高兴呀——相互“胳肢”一气,整个洞房都笑起来了;然后“咯吱”的声音,就是花烛夜了。
因为写得精粹,美句占到一半,遂使整首诗都花枝招展的,亮眼怡心呢!

2012-8-8于黔中
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hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2012-08-13 12:54:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

学习
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山城子
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PostPosted: 2012-11-15 13:13:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好岛主!!
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