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南浔
chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
chenrunminCollection
PostPosted: 2011-09-18 15:07:27    Post subject: 南浔 Reply with quote

南浔
小桥流水人家,加几个著名堂馆会所,
这几乎成了中国所有古镇的特点。
即使满目碧绿,映天荷花别样红,
秋日的阴天还笼罩‘大象’们楼台庭园。

你以为我在线上,不过别人打开我qq,
我正走在泼墨素描画面特浓的南浔。
从张石铭旧宅出来,又是黄昏上座,
除了寻找风景,这些都不代表我心情。
2011,9,28.
‘大象’,旧时南浔对顶级富豪的称呼。
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chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
chenrunminCollection
PostPosted: 2011-09-19 15:32:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

来读,好像没看懂,很乱, 问好. 回;【诗歌报】论坛,诗歌大厅,半遮面,发表于 2011-9-19 10:49。

再回半遮面的帖子,那日正值秋日的阴天,南浔的那些大宅子,显的很黑,很陈旧。风景分围,不象丽江,周庄等,那么瑭黄,是那种很浓的, 泼墨素描的画面 。春去秋来,豪华富贵,物是人非,时光流逝,人生易老。你可能没到过南浔,张石铭旧宅的前门后门,贯穿南浔主要的观光带,走在其中,黄昏将临,小桥流水旁的街上,那些红男绿女,其中可以看出,有的是老少情人,围着饭桌,吃喝饮乐,坐享人生。此情此景,因各人,各种心情,会产生百般的感慨。
可能本人笔力不够,此诗在言表上,达不到意想的效果,望原谅,谢谢,问好。
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chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
chenrunminCollection
PostPosted: 2011-09-20 15:24:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

其实你这首诗很易懂,我所说的第一节欠了一些,并不是意象及表达方面的东西,诗中所指是广泛的,但出

新是个问题。
你的第二节很好的,创意新意都有了,内涵表达得更深! 回;【星光熠熠新诗大观】,唐晚词 发表于 2011-

9-20 08:18 。

谢谢。 我到过不少小城古镇,每到一地,或多或少,总要留下一两首诗,这次写南浔,正是早以江郎才尽

吧。你的评读,让我有点汗颜。 问好,问好。
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chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
chenrunminCollection
PostPosted: 2011-09-21 15:19:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

又是溜达,又是找风景。除了羡慕和嫉妒,啥都代表不了我的心。
主题越突出、状物越景致、脚下越轻盈,我就越着急。
拜读、学习、问好。 回;自由诗苑,石下草 发表于 2011-9-19 01:16 。
不过是相互学习,相互评读,你真逗,我真开心,问好挚友。 回;陈润民。
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chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
chenrunminCollection
PostPosted: 2011-09-26 06:58:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

"从张石铭旧宅出来,又是黄昏上座,
除了寻找风景,这些都不代表我心情。"
以一种陌生化的情调其实蕴涵这悲哀。至少我是这样感受的。 回;自由诗苑,归凤 发表于 2011-9-20 17:24
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chenrunmin
进士出身


Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Posts: 2427
Location: nanjing.jiangsu.china.
chenrunminCollection
PostPosted: 2011-09-28 16:34:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

自言自语又自省自悟。
让人回味。问好!问大家好! 回;诗歌论坛,读书论坛,新浪网,pearlzh ,发表于:2011-09-26 10:05 .

我个人以为;写诗大多时候,差不多,已变为自娱自乐的事了。
问好,问好。 回;陈润民。
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