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小聚Milliken Park
连南河
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Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Posts: 342
Location: Toronto
连南河Collection
PostPosted: 2011-09-04 05:52:45    Post subject: 小聚Milliken Park Reply with quote

小聚Milliken Park
——送冰清白水诗友回国

边城一玉壶,
白水秀清都。
池映千层景,
花开万树渠。
小园石板路,
大爱落英铺。
泉涌李博士,
思接安略湖。
云拨天女扇,
喜获庆宏书。
字里黄洋界,
画中秋叶舒。

Aug 28,2011,Hormish Garden of Toronto(南河书院)
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连南河
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Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Posts: 342
Location: Toronto
连南河Collection
PostPosted: 2011-09-04 06:13:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

南河书院
南河诗话

诗体:排律

诗体结构

首联:起
次联:承转(承上启下)—“花开”借景象征写诗友们心花怒放
三四五联:转
尾联:合

诗歌典故

首联:
“玉壶”——王昌龄《芙蓉楼送辛渐》 :寒雨连江夜入吴, 平明送客楚山孤。洛阳亲友如相问, 一片冰心在玉壶。
“白水”——李白《送友人》 :青山横北郭,白水绕东城。 此地一为别,孤篷万里征。 浮云游子意,落日故人情。 挥手自兹去,萧萧班马鸣。

次联:
“渠”——朱熹《观书有感》 :半亩方塘一鉴开, 天光云影共徘徊。 问渠那得清如许, 为有源头活水来。

三联:
“落英”——陶渊明《桃花园记》 :晋太元中,武陵人捕鱼为业。缘溪行,忘路之远近。忽逢桃花林, 夹岸数百步,中无杂树,芳草鲜美,落英缤纷。 ……

四联:
“泉涌”——朱熹《观书有感》

五联:
“天女扇”黄耀俊吟句(草书):驱蚊拂署送清凉,活腕强身自有方。绘画吟诗随意趣,轻摇此物享安康。
“庆宏书”黄庆宏草书——李白《送友人》
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黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection
PostPosted: 2011-09-04 07:09:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜读南河君排律,嵌名用典皆贴切自然。
“笑纳”一词换作“喜获”如何?
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2011-09-04 17:17:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

南河好文采。
这次小聚时间稍仓促了点,大家诗文未能尽兴,改日得空再聚,再赏各位雅作。
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qinghongh
榜眼


Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

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PostPosted: 2011-09-04 18:21:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢连兄赋诗!
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连南河
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Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Posts: 342
Location: Toronto
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PostPosted: 2011-09-04 18:31:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好黄老师,白水MOONLIGHT,QINGHONGH

《小聚》第五联的对仗与第三联一样有欠工整,上联“云拨天女扇”的“云”为名词而“拨”是动词,主谓结构;下联中“笑纳”的“笑”用作名词含“愉快”“快乐”之意,修饰“纳”。“笑纳”是轻快活泼的场景,“喜获”有庄重典雅的气氛。

《小聚》第三联“小园石板路”的“路”,这里作动词“筑路”或“修路”与“落英铺”相对。

从池边的那座小桥沿着小渠弯到聚会的亭中,是一条石板镶嵌在草坪上“修筑”的园林小路。

小渠边应该是这个季节里多伦多盛开的色彩斑斓的木槿树(锦葵科木槿属植物),与芙蓉花同属,也可称之为多伦多的芙蓉花;这样,那座聚会的中国式凉亭就会有一个美丽的中文名字——芙蓉亭。

长周末快乐!
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黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
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Location: 多伦多,加拿大
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PostPosted: 2011-09-04 18:50:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

“笑纳”一词,是客套语,用于请人收下礼物。这话出自庆宏之口
可以。词的固定含义,最好不要随意改动,供参考。
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冰清
同进士出身


Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

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PostPosted: 2011-09-05 18:31:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

南河好律。不仅用典自如;情、景,人、事都融于一体了!

谢谢南河!也谢谢朋友们真诚的友谊和对我热忱的关爱!
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2011-09-06 03:05:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

连兄好文采。用典自然贴切,寓情于景,情景交融,把人物名巧妙嵌入,无功力不能成此诗!问好!
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2011-09-08 03:01:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

祝连兄中秋愉快!
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秋叶
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Joined: 17 Feb 2007
Posts: 769

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PostPosted: 2011-09-09 16:11:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

连南河 wrote:
小聚Milliken Park
...


谢谢连兄嵌名诗,把我们的聚会写绝了,可入历史档案。 Very Happy
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