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瑚图灵阿的校园诗二首
瑚图灵阿
童生


Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Posts: 14

瑚图灵阿Collection
PostPosted: 2011-09-29 00:03:02    Post subject: 瑚图灵阿的校园诗二首 Reply with quote

瑚图灵阿的校园诗二首



礼赞:石上树



痛楚何需敬畏

石头不是你的宿命

你的生命你的梦

在石上起程

你的根系 永不能

在土层探索和飞行

你抖擞着枝繁叶茂

表达卓尔不群的精神

你的高度 超越

所有的参天大树



2011年9月29日15点26分草





我惊醒于宝石蓝的号



宝石蓝色的号声

吹蓝晴朗的天

吹圆鼓起大腮帮的红太阳

吹醒我的脚掌 吹醒我的晨诵

吹满了我的童年

吹满了我的少年



宝石蓝的号

在墙头 在篱笆 在路旁

那里有我的露珠

那里还有我的蝈蝈和蝴蝶

那里还有我丢失的歌谣



我早挥过手帕

那纯真那美都已远去

今天清晨 我又听到多年前宝石蓝的号

我看到许多孩子在蓝色的号声里奔跑

我看到那纯真那美的金色列车

原来一直在不远的车站 等我



2011年9月29日15点51分草
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自幼写现代诗。喜欢习练八卦掌。
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2011-10-09 04:04:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

第一首挺好~~不过最后的两句再斟酌下~~和前两句内容上有些重合~~语句流于形式了~~诗歌精短灵动~~
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