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梅,在读书台温暖我的手
倾听书卷
童生


Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 49
Location: 江苏常熟
倾听书卷Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-04 16:40:16    Post subject: 梅,在读书台温暖我的手 Reply with quote

梅,在读书台温暖我的手

穿过酒瓶林立的小巷,拐个弯
远远地,远远地看见
梅,在踏雪怀古的地方,在寒风里
一点一点的盛开

爱梅的人,步上书台
把自己埋在月光里
在昭明太子读书的地方,为梅祝福
歌唱或者流泪

梅,在寒风里看你生命的全部
被一片一片冻成美丽的红
一生的劳作达到极致
相信今夜,所有的生灵都将为你感动

梅,酒气熏人的小巷
动摇不了你的目光,永远圣洁
你的目光,热烈在我疲惫的渴望中
抚摩我的手并温暖我

梅,然后,在月光里
我归家的路,一点一点温暖起来
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-04 17:52:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

把古意境很好地表现出来

落梅的声音,和梅花盛开的声音
如临其境

可以略为凝炼些
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写诗是为了写更好的诗
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-05 16:39:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

雪中听梅, 月映归路
很美的意境
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-06 06:57:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

强烈的反差。我是喜欢的。
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-07 18:44:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

置顶了一天
Very Happy
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倾听书卷
童生


Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 49
Location: 江苏常熟
倾听书卷Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-07 23:12:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好和平岛白水杯中冲浪几位斑斑.

和平岛说:写诗是为了写更好的诗,我到这里学习也是为了更好地写诗.
感谢朋友们.
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联系地址: 215500 江苏省常熟市地方志办公室 浦君芝
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倾听书卷
童生


Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 49
Location: 江苏常熟
倾听书卷Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-12 17:01:06    Post subject: Re: 置顶了一天 :D Reply with quote

和平岛 wrote:
置顶了一天
Very Happy


感谢和平岛
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联系地址: 215500 江苏省常熟市地方志办公室 浦君芝
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莞君
秀才


Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国 陕西
莞君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-12 17:13:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

细腻的笔调 问好
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莞君
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