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"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
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满江红<晨曦>
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-23 21:18:52    Post subject: 满江红<晨曦> Reply with quote

满江红<晨曦>

晓幕霜天, 凝眸处, 平湖大雾.
影些许,亭阁楼榭, 鬼工神斧.
新月西沉吟旧曲
黎阳东起吹残烛.
叹枯枝, 朽叶碾为尘, 深秋去

会诗友, 聊冬赋, 思故里, 愁相诉.
怅羌笛塞外, 涸塘孤鹭.
云重天低飞絮冷, 风寒水瑟梨花簌.
伫早春, 三月觅嫣红, 梅花怒.
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戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-24 04:58:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

秋去冬來,舊作?
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I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄
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杏仁儿
童生


Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 30

杏仁儿Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-24 05:00:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

赏读~
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观静水之深沉,品智者之无声
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晓松
举人


Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192

晓松Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-26 18:32:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

总的感觉,有些气势,不是软绵绵的,像“凝眸处, 平湖大雾”。
又“叹枯枝朽叶碾为尘”很有些“正西风落叶下长安”的味道。
“梅园怒”不知当何解?
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他乡客
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 487
Location: 加拿大.渥汰华 (Ottawa, Canada)
他乡客Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-26 19:04:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

似乎所住单元的窗景对着安大略湖。好风水啊。意境好,起承转折好。格律不懂(现囤现卖 Razz )。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-27 17:17:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢各位朋友, 这两天忙傻了.未及时回帖, 见谅.

答晓松, 直译为梅花怒放吧, 意译吗? 猜想你能理解.
他乡客, 谢谢你. 写的时候用的不同词谱(可能印刷有点小差异), 我也觉的有些句子硬了些, 稍修改了些.
谢谢你们, 盼多商榷.
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