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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

《望山》《最后一碗酒》

号手
童生

Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 20

号手Collection

Posted: 2007-02-13 17:07:00 Post subject: 《望山》《最后一碗酒》

《望山》心，还在季节里等待迎春花已经开过了一年溪水清清，洗不净我的思念再望一眼，依依的山在溪水边的长亭，等你烫一壶老酒从山脚看到山梁野花儿败了，野花儿又开我的朋友，你还没有回来醉了，和你手挽着手儿在山林中，随着风儿飘摇睡了，梦里的笑容悄悄爬上了眉梢早春的凉风中，开了雪白的梨花清香飘过，又斟满酒杯举杯遥相祝，春也寒，记得多加件衣裳想着你，还有笑出眼角的泪滴《最后一碗酒》黄风，沙场八百里军帐，燃烧起火把举起一碗烈酒，暖暖寒透的战衣呛痛了的喉咙，忘不了的家乡望一眼回家的路，漫漫兄弟，给家里捎个信儿，没有家书对着无边的夜里没有泪滴，就着一口酒，大吼古来征战几人回，举杯，烈酒醉眼朦胧忘不了妻儿，还有年高的父母明天，就让我的血，浇了这黄沙，也浇一片绿洲今夜有酒，大吼兄弟们，我们是树啊挡了风沙，鸟儿们才有自由你听，你听，他们在叫，他们在笑，有你的妻，有我的父母，有他的儿再来一碗酒，不醉莫回头

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2007-02-13 18:27:39 Post subject:

豪情不愧是号手荡漾在山谷间 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2007-02-13 18:31:36 Post subject:

烫一壶老酒从山脚看到山梁野花儿败了，野花儿又开我的朋友，你还没有回来....有感觉的一组/提.

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-02-13 20:11:52 Post subject:

把酒迎风, 爽

陈若祥
秀才

Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection

Posted: 2007-02-14 03:15:17 Post subject:

喜欢《最后一碗酒》，荡气回肠！为你喝彩！ _________________ ¤当树的叶子再次泛绿，繁华 ¤我们欣赏着一部与你我无关的电影 ¤看着春天悄悄地走来 ¤看着春天延伸在我们的脚下 ◆安徽凤鸣诗社◆http://blog.sina.com.cn/fmshishe

号手
童生

Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 20

号手Collection

Posted: 2007-02-14 06:30:53 Post subject:

呵呵各位老大见笑了不好意思，问一下编辑，《北美枫》纸媒发表的门坎高吗？不知这两首的差距有多大？

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-02-14 19:53:17 Post subject:

《北美枫》有几个特色：双语专栏文学社理事会员优秀作品重在参与的版主和诗友共同努力 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

沙漠
秀才

Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection

Posted: 2007-02-15 06:34:00 Post subject:

就语言而言，个人喜欢前一个。感觉后一个语言上还要打磨，个见：） _________________ 个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180

号手
童生

Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 20

号手Collection

Posted: 2007-03-16 01:03:27 Post subject:

沙漠 wrote:

就语言而言，个人喜欢前一个。感觉后一个语言上还要打磨，个见：）

沙漠 wrote:

就语言而言，个人喜欢前一个。感觉后一个语言上还要打磨，个见：）

沙漠的要求比较严厉哟！！！
但我能接受
在严厉的批评下，我会进步更快的……

号手
童生

Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 20

号手Collection

Posted: 2007-03-16 01:03:47 Post subject:

沙漠 wrote:

就语言而言，个人喜欢前一个。感觉后一个语言上还要打磨，个见：）

沙漠 wrote:

就语言而言，个人喜欢前一个。感觉后一个语言上还要打磨，个见：）

沙漠的要求比较严厉哟！！！
但我能接受
在严厉的批评下，我会进步更快的……

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