寒江雪影 童生
Joined: 12 Jun 2008 Posts: 43
寒江雪影Collection |
Posted: 2010-11-08 18:04:30 Post subject: 西安大雁塔 |
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行见浮屠老长苔 慈恩寺院踏花开
频逢逐队游人过 误作题名进士来
勒石文章充眼亮 怡神佛迹滤心灰
黄砖磨尽风霜雨 又接繁华式式回 _________________ "課虛無以責有, 叩寂寞而求音。" |
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2010-11-09 08:12:47 Post subject: |
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勒石文章充眼亮,怡神佛迹滤心灰 - 好!
寒江雪影,"开,来"与"灰,回"不同韵部,押韵值得再斟酌! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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寒江雪影 童生
Joined: 12 Jun 2008 Posts: 43
寒江雪影Collection |
Posted: 2010-11-10 04:10:35 Post subject: |
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谢谢白云垂注,用的都在平水韵上平十灰。 _________________ "課虛無以責有, 叩寂寞而求音。" |
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2010-11-10 08:50:42 Post subject: |
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寒江雪影,你说得对,在平水韵中,四字均属十灰,同部韵. 因我误以为你使用中华新韵呢.对不起,谢謝! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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