Maple Review :: View topic - 西安大雁塔　

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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

西安大雁塔　

寒江雪影
童生

Joined: 12 Jun 2008
Posts: 43

寒江雪影Collection

Posted: 2010-11-08 18:04:30 Post subject: 西安大雁塔

行见浮屠老长苔　慈恩寺院踏花开　频逢逐队游人过　误作题名进士来　勒石文章充眼亮　怡神佛迹滤心灰　黄砖磨尽风霜雨　又接繁华式式回　 _________________ "課虛無以責有, 叩寂寞而求音。"

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2010-11-09 08:12:47 Post subject:

勒石文章充眼亮,怡神佛迹滤心灰 - 好! 寒江雪影,"开,来"与"灰,回"不同韵部,押韵值得再斟酌! _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

寒江雪影
童生

Joined: 12 Jun 2008
Posts: 43

寒江雪影Collection

Posted: 2010-11-10 04:10:35 Post subject:

谢谢白云垂注，用的都在平水韵上平十灰。 _________________ "課虛無以責有, 叩寂寞而求音。"

白云闲人
探花

Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection

Posted: 2010-11-10 08:50:42 Post subject:

寒江雪影,你说得对,在平水韵中,四字均属十灰,同部韵. 因我误以为你使用中华新韵呢.对不起,谢謝! _________________ 诗中岁月, 笛里关山.

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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

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