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秋歌壮烈
胡礼忠
童生


Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Posts: 90
Location: 中国
胡礼忠Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-14 07:16:32    Post subject: 秋歌壮烈 Reply with quote

秋歌壮烈


胡礼忠





大雁回乡 翅轻敲何处
我心感到了
千百万旌鼓齐鸣
莫非 在昊天处耗干
频频回首的痕迹
今夜 想象初秋的玫瑰
让我倾听 这
远离而飘逝的意象 在
实实在在的泥地上
望着向南 吐落乡愁的种子
面向无尽荒芜
我浑身灼热





等待于南方的海岸
相信我的隐秘重重叠叠
浓渌 会从海边浅水长起
我会是那块
青苔抚顶而慈悲的礁石
那飞着的鸥鸟和正赶回的彩贝
和沙子攒动的潮信和魚
渔人嘴边狩渔的海螺声
和舞动人字大阵轰击我的肉体
回乡的喧闹 惹乐了
海那蔚蓝蔚蓝的浓度
海边 有那黑葡萄双眼的渔家姑娘
给我们秋水般明亮与善良
在流霞的沙滩 是在等候渔汛
一网网渔歌上岸
一网网爱情上岸
在秋天的岸边 我心止于水





秋歌里 灵魂流浪的大路宽敞
在路的深处
知道红尘将息
试想秋天 有无千秋书卷释怀
那神秘旷远的心中块垒
山里 被色彩染得年轻的女人
解读生命的长成与族行的艰难
每次壮烈的生育 都
暗合生命的节奏
那大地五彩斑斓是她的羽毛
会爱上一个 异乡漂泊的浪子
在五谷着色的山里
那曲曲比传说更精典的唢呐
在土家男人灿烂的心中燃烧后
又归于寂寞 空留下
梯玛牛角里弯弯长歌
渗进地脉的原乡 让秋歌壮烈
那滚烫滚烫族人的血汁
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-15 15:01:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

同前一首风格相同,神形焕然。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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圆月巴钟
童生


Joined: 15 Nov 2010
Posts: 8

圆月巴钟Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-15 16:39:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

好诗歌!妙
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我喜欢欣赏经典诗歌,并沉溺于经典给予我永久的快乐。
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胡礼忠
童生


Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Posts: 90
Location: 中国
胡礼忠Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-16 02:10:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢周老师雅评!
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真诚结交诗友、文友;访良师益友于江湖五岳,其乐融融、止心若此!来而不往非礼也!
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晴宝儿
秀才


Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 666

晴宝儿Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-17 00:05:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

字里行间颇有古典诗风,又见细腻深入。
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晴宝儿
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-17 01:06:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

抒情,有婉约感。
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湮雨朦朦
秀才


Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 213
Location: 江西省南昌市
湮雨朦朦Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-18 03:15:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

大雁回乡 翅轻敲何处
我心感到了
千百万旌鼓齐鸣
莫非 在昊天处耗干
频频回首的痕迹
今夜 想象初秋的玫瑰
让我倾听 这
远离而飘逝的意象 在
实实在在的泥地上
望着向南 吐落乡愁的种子
面向无尽荒芜
我浑身灼热
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胡礼忠
童生


Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Posts: 90
Location: 中国
胡礼忠Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-19 16:25:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢湮雨朦朦光临作评,谢冬安!
_________________
真诚结交诗友、文友;访良师益友于江湖五岳,其乐融融、止心若此!来而不往非礼也!
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-19 17:01:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

有声韵美,各字节的分布与运用挺好。
纯朴有致,比如

山里 被色彩染得年轻的女人
解读生命的长成与族行的艰难
每次壮烈的生育 都
暗合生命的节奏
_________________
(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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菩虔
童生


Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Posts: 12

菩虔Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-19 18:27:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

等待于南方的海岸
相信我的隐秘重重叠叠
浓渌 会从海边浅水长起
我会是那块
青苔抚顶而慈悲的礁石
那飞着的鸥鸟和正赶回的彩贝
和沙子攒动的潮信和魚
_________________
禅心诗润,觅尽好诗、参悟人性之大美
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