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落基秋遊 --- ( 三 )
白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-08 08:25:39    Post subject: 落基秋遊 --- ( 三 ) Reply with quote

. . 落基秋遊. .
<调寄西江月>
欣賞丹楓妆盛,
醉听叶浪涛声.
浅吟低唱且徐行,
山水悠然本性.

風笛纵情送爽,
夕阳含笑相迎.
前望一抹彩雲輕,
珍惜良辰美景!
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-09 05:08:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

读白云兄词,轻松舒适,自然惬意,总有一种冲动的感觉迸发:

临屏和上一首《唐多令-秋枫吟》

满目是秋枫,群山火样红。任寒流、来势汹汹。君自安闲君自度,凭霜打、笑苍穹。
每遇相思中,取其诗意浓。最难消、情绪融融。寂寞疏星和瘦月,纵料想、也从容。

望白云兄多指点!
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-09 08:40:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝笑聊贊誉与赋词唱和!
笑聊,在整首<秋枫吟>中,贯穿有一种坚韌、從容的暢意! 故此,在上阕的结句中,用了"望苍穹",却给人有一丝丝"无奈"之感.与上阕之词意并不合拍.是否需要再斟酌一下用词呢? 仅供参攷!
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
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Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2010-10-09 21:56:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
謝笑聊贊誉与赋词唱和!
...

白云兄说的对,末句用了一“望”字,把原先流露出来的意境,减弱了不少。“望”换成“笑”。
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影沉寒水
举人


Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Posts: 1145
Location: 中国福建
影沉寒水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-10-10 03:13:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

珍惜良辰美景!


对此美景同驻足
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诗无涯。思在线
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qinghongh
榜眼


Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection
PostPosted: 2010-10-10 03:52:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

秋景美,心情佳。词来此往,故乡天涯。白云老师笑聊兄好词唱和。
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2010-10-10 04:29:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

<调寄西江月>
欣賞丹楓妆盛,
醉听叶浪涛声.
浅吟低唱且徐行,
山水悠然本性.

風笛纵情送爽,
夕阳含笑相迎.
前望一抹彩雲輕,
珍惜良辰美景!

再赏美词,激情依然!问好白云兄!
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白云闲人
探花


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PostPosted: 2010-10-10 08:01:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

影沉寒水,共同惜良辰,诵美景!
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笛里关山.
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白云闲人
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Joined: 26 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: 2010-10-10 08:08:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

描秋景,笑相迎,浅吟低唱,步轻盈!
謝庆宏欣赏!
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笛里关山.
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白云闲人
探花


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PostPosted: 2010-10-10 08:14:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝謝笑聊再次欣赏!
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笛里关山.
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笑聊
探花


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PostPosted: 2010-10-11 18:08:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

综观白云兄写的诗词,首首阳光灿烂,给人以积极鼓励,除了白云兄自身心态恬淡,与世无争外,同所处的外部环境也是密不可分。我喜欢积极阳光,(虽然有低潮)原因就是:不能改变环境,就必须努力适应环境。

谢谢白云兄---我的良师益友!
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黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
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Location: 多伦多,加拿大
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PostPosted: 2010-10-12 05:01:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

同赏良辰美景,激发人很多向往,谢白云兄好词!
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: 2010-10-12 07:32:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝謝笑聊的勉励!
笑聊说得好:"不能改变环境,就努力去适应环境"!
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笛里关山.
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

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PostPosted: 2010-10-12 07:39:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝黄兄!
黄兄说得有理:通过赏良辰诵美景,激发人对生活的向往.这也是我們为什么会热衷于诗赋呢!
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