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		| nightingale2 童生
 
  
 注册时间: 2009-10-22
 帖子: 59
 
 nightingale2北美枫文集
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				|  发表于: 2010-09-03 23:40:57    发表主题: A Mermaid's Tune 美人鱼之歌,E1/1,2,待续 |   |  
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 A Mermaid's Tune
 
 Episode 1.
 
 1/ A Mist in the 2-D World
 
 Please forgive a mermaid’s foolish tune
 That passing through the morning dew
 Who soon be turned into a mist in sky
 By the rays the sun shall lie
 And forget the disturbance the mini-bee stirred
 As the flower was in deep dream without alert
 
 She’s merely a mist or two
 Worth zero to grasp
 Drifts in the 2-dimention world
 No deeper than nothing, as I was told.
 
 美人鱼之歌
 
 第一章
 
 1/ 平面世界里的雾
 
 请原谅美人鱼蠢笨的歌调
 那调子穿过清晨的露
 这露水转瞬将化为空中的雾
 在那太阳将光线躺下之处
 忘了这小小蜂儿的打扰吧
 那朵花不曾在深深的梦中受过警示呢
 
 她只是些许的薄雾
 握在手中所值绝无
 在二维的平面世界中飘逸
 毫无深度,我最清楚
 
 2/ A Tropical Fish
 
 A tropical fish in rain
 Sobbing her sorrow in pain
 Yesterday’s today
 Tomorrow’s the same
 Murky, the name of the water
 Darkness, surround her like the sweet-wrapper
 For a long time she’s been in half-coma
 The supplies for life ----the mixture
 Brewed with all the escapers
 ----the Pandora’s lost treasures, good ones and evils
 
 And you, my dear, the very thing I mind
 The best thing I left behind
 Yet still in the Box
 As innocent as ever
 As pure as still water
 Never should I dip a dirty finger in it.
 My only hope, you, live in another world
 As in our previous lives, once I
 Was in the wedding-dresss, standing by
 The railway, you whistled by
 In the train of no-return and away, forever
 
 Like the fish and the shore
 Only lives in each other’s sight for sure
 Yet the reality the sea, keeps us
 On the bay of our own lives, you see
 Only, I could, hear your heart beating, as you could
 Hear mine’s pumping, in the soft moonlight
 When gently, the sea horses sing the romantic lines
 
 
 2/ 一条热带鱼
 
 一条雨中的热带鱼
 悲苦地暗泣着
 昨日即今日
 明日又这般都是一样的
 污浊,是海水的名字
 黑暗,糖纸般将她紧紧地包裹
 长久来她昏茫迷落
 维持她生命的----一种混合剂
 用逃跑者们发酵而成
 ----那些潘多拉丢失的珍宝,善的与恶的
 
 而你,我亲爱的,我极珍贵的
 最美好的一物
 却被我留在了身后
 留在了那个盒子里
 天真如初
 纯如蒸馏水般
 我永不该将那水玷污。我仅有的希望
 你却生活在另一个世界上
 而前世里,我曾
 穿着婚纱站在铁道边,你呼啸而错
 在单向火车里就这般地远离,从未回来过
 
 就如鱼和海岸
 活着只能两相顾看
 那海水那现实,将我俩
 保留在各自生活的一边,你明白么
 然而,我能听见你的心跳,就如你
 可以听见我的心搏,在那温柔的月色中
 当轻轻地,海马们唱着浪漫的歌
 
 
 
 -待续-
 
 (* 这故事只是写了玩的草稿,还没完全成型,正在写作和考虑中,若写得不咋样,将来未必会出版;那个出版,大约也要20年以后了,所以啊,慢慢修改吧,哈哈,老牛拉车就这个德性
  。 问好大家!尽管批评提意见哦,俺脸皮反正很厚
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		| SLIU 秀才
 
 
 注册时间: 2010-01-01
 帖子: 384
 
 SLIU北美枫文集
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				|  发表于: 2010-09-07 17:10:26    发表主题: |   |  
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				| 有韵的朗朗上口! 问候。。 |  |  
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		| William Zhou周道模 探花
 
 
 注册时间: 2007-06-10
 帖子: 3950
 来自: 中国四川广汉
 William Zhou周道模北美枫文集
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				|  发表于: 2010-09-08 23:20:43    发表主题: |   |  
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				| go on,please. _________________
 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
 周道模
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		| Lake 举人
 
  
 注册时间: 2007-01-09
 帖子: 1286
 
 Lake北美枫文集
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				|  发表于: 2010-09-27 10:46:59    发表主题: |   |  
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				| Yes, continue. 
 Just a quick read of the first stanza.
 
 The second line,
 
 "That passing through the morning dew"
 
 either take out "that" or "that passes through"
 
 The third line,
 
 not sure "who" is until I read the Chinese version. Would "that" or "which" work better? Is there a "will" needed before "soon"?
 _________________
 the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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		| nightingale2 童生
 
  
 注册时间: 2009-10-22
 帖子: 59
 
 nightingale2北美枫文集
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				|  发表于: 2010-11-01 10:18:32    发表主题: |   |  
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	  | Lake 写到: |  
	  | Yes, continue. ...
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 thank you,lake.after your wash,my head is a lot clearer now
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