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一匹马走在孤独的山路上
风花雪月已冷
童生


Joined: 16 Jul 2010
Posts: 42

风花雪月已冷Collection
PostPosted: 2010-09-01 17:12:41    Post subject: 一匹马走在孤独的山路上 Reply with quote

一匹马走在孤独的山路上

一匹马
走在孤独的山路上
他的背上
没有相惜的身影
只有沉重的沙袋
他的主人,在后面,拿着鞭子

一匹马
走在孤独的山路上
他的眼中
没有痛苦的泪水
只有匆忙的汗水
他的主人,在后面,拿着鞭子

一匹马
走在孤独的山路上
他的心中
没有柔软的草原
只有坚硬的石头
他的主人,在后面,拿着鞭子

一匹马
走在孤独的山路上
他的脚印里
没有生命的决绝
只有无奈的沉默
一个路人,在后面,捧着苍凉

一匹马
走在孤独的山路上
他的身影里
没有丰腴的血肉
只有厚厚的尘埃
一个路人,在后面,捧着悲壮

一匹马
走在孤独的山路上
他的气息里
没有激情的生命
只有行走的迷茫
一个路人,在后面,捧着远方

2010.9.1
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风花雪月已冷
童生


Joined: 16 Jul 2010
Posts: 42

风花雪月已冷Collection
PostPosted: 2010-09-01 17:26:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

生命的虚无和荒唐,在一匹马的身上流淌,让人忍不住泪流成行!
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吟啸徐行
举人


Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 1336
Location: 中国安徽
吟啸徐行Collection
PostPosted: 2010-09-01 17:55:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

反复渲染,增加了诗的分量.
_________________
彰显自我爱好,弘扬民族文化,追求诗意生活.
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阿依琼裙
秀才


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2010-09-02 23:47:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

一匹马
走在孤独的山路上
他的气息里
没有激情的生命
只有行走的迷茫
一个路人,在后面,捧着远方
_________________
踏过废墟,走来
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong
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