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體育課
博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-02 22:13:52    Post subject: 體育課 Reply with quote

體育課


雙手伸到最前的界
向兩旁擘開──
──蛙泳似的
進入另一個空間

板擦漸漸燃燒
教室焦躁不安
鈴聲響起
小學生自窄門一擁而出

池塘後面是夜晚
井底有許多蝌蚪
游向水中的月
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-03 07:07:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

這首詩有一朋友說四重意境. 讀者慢慢找嘍.
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-03 15:47:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

向心運動。
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-03 19:02:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

”向心運動“

指?
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-03 19:05:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

體育課上的弯道速跑 Very Happy
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-03 22:37:32    Post subject: 指的是心中的方向而非实际的运动方向。 Reply with quote

博弈 wrote:
”向心运动“

指?


游泳__训练或健身是方向。

下课__开始游戏是方向。

蝌蚪__或许觅食是方向。
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2010-06-04 05:46:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

底層形上意義是:
想要在既有的空間內找出另一個空間(破入),
進到那個空間後, 那個空間進入激態,
所有的激態 最終要轉趨平靜, 時間(鈴聲)結束了空間.
空間所遺留下的, 追尋著一個現實或虛幻(水中月可實可虛).

你可以想像自我是學生,成年 人, 中年, 老年來看這首詩.
那麼, 可以四個角度來讀: 學校, 性愛(男性角度), 政治, 哲理.
在詩的這幾個上, 配合作不同的理解. 我試試表達一下'動機', 部分是兒童不宜的.

體育課


雙手伸到最前的      陰唇        禁忌(例:兩岸議題)能觸的邊緣內
向兩旁擘開──        撥開        切開        破空
──蛙泳似的         頭前進 
進入另一個空間       陰室        模糊地帶      意識 

板擦漸漸燃燒        摩擦        頻繁地討論     意念生滅幻象產生
教室焦躁不安        女人        台下的人心理    身體(載體)
鈴聲響起          時間到       散會        結束,醒來
小學生自窄門一擁而出    射精        爭先恐後離去    混亂自耳孔退去

池塘後面是夜晚       潮水的後面是暗的 隔水的後方天黑了   眼睛後是暗的
井底有許多蝌蚪       陰道留有精液    井底之蛙      深邃中的微動
游向水中的月        朝著卵子游去    想著虛幻假象    聚向瞳孔


最後把四段意象用果汁機打在一起嘍.

體: 實質, 經驗(動詞)
育: 過程, 時間
課: 磨, 悟, 超月.

這是我的多維詩一類, 通常這麼寫的時候, 沒人猜得出.
比朦朧還朦朧, 但字面又很清楚. 繼續改良中.
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