Maple Review Home
   Chinese Literature Society of North America | Maple Review | Immigrants in Canada | Angel Studio | The Driftwood Artist Society | Ocean of Poetry | Island of Music
"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister  ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Sign inSign in   BlogsBlogs    Weblogs NewsWeblogs News   AlbumAlbum 
English Home Bilingual Home Chinese Home
Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音 Post new topic   Reply to topic
《鹧鸪天-赞兄》步韵和白云兄
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-15 18:58:56    Post subject: 《鹧鸪天-赞兄》步韵和白云兄 Reply with quote

填《鹧鸪天-赞兄》步韵和白云兄:
文/笑聊
喜鹊清晨戏舞中,
朝霞涂满际天红。 涂=塗 际= 際
絮春懒惹萦萦草,
树绿频招缕缕风。 绿=綠 风=風

君洒脱, 洒=灑 脱=脫
似孩童。
身盈燕巧步轻松。 轻=輕
低吟浅唱填辞赋, 浅=淺
美酒三杯乐趣从。 乐=樂 从=從

附白云兄原玉:
. 養性怡情 . .
《调寄鹧鸪天》

寫意徘徊花院中,
雨過天净夕陽紅。
垂楊掩映枝摇動,
綠葉沙沙笑晚風。

懷逸興,
老還童,
淺吟低唱步輕松。
閒來翻土鮮蔬種,
養性怡情樂趣從!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-16 00:35:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

唱和俱佳.
"绿树频招屡屡风"句,"频"与"屡屡"意思相近,恐是"缕缕"二字,
误敲了字.请笑聊兄酌定.
_________________
++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-16 00:47:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢黄老师点评!已发现:屡屡實是缕缕,改了。

再次谢谢黄老师指正!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
影沉寒水
举人


Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Posts: 1145
Location: 中国福建
影沉寒水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-16 02:38:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

君洒脱,似孩童。

洒脱一般来说不是用来形容孩童的。

天真和洒脱

是两个层次
_________________
诗无涯。思在线
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-16 05:57:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="影沉寒水"]君洒脱,似孩童。
...[/quote]
谢谢影沉寒水提出质疑探讨!这样有助于提高写作。

君洒脱,似孩童。看似矛盾,其实不矛盾。我们地方方言有“老小”一词,意为:年龄虽然老了,但情趣却如孩童。从哲学角度来看,看似如孩童,其实是更高层次的“孩童”。是属于螺旋式上升后的“孩童”。孩童的天真与“孩童”的天真,有着本质的区别,他们的天真是不能同日而语的。

再次谢谢影沉寒水!遥握!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-16 07:24:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

謝笑聊好词!
美酒三杯醉意濃!
_________________
诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-05-16 17:46:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢白云兄点评与鼓励!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Emoticons
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Exclamation Question Idea Arrow
View more Emoticons
Page 1 of 1           View previous topic View next topic    
Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音    Post new topic   Reply to topic
Jump to:  


Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME