| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
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				|  发表于: 2010-03-25 16:22:02    发表主题: 五绝	和白云闲人《人生几何》(古韵英译) |   |  
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				| 五绝	和白云闲人《人生几何》(古韵英译) 
 文/庆宏
 
 人生有几何?岁月如穿梭。
 剑赋青春志,笔吟瀚海歌。
 
 After <Life in the World>
 
 By Qinghong
 
 How long is life in this world?
 And the time flies like a shuttle;
 Using a sharp sword,
 You can realize your dream of young age;
 And using a sharp pen,
 You can surf on the knowledge ocean like Google!
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 After <Life in the World>
 
 By Qinghong
 
 How long is life in this world?
 And the time flies like a shuttle;
 Your sharp sword,
 Can draw a beautiful painting of young age dream;
 Your sharp pen,
 Can sing a wonderful song of knowledge ocean.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
 白云闲人原玉:
 
 人 生 几 何
 < 调寄喜迁莺 >
 
 闻莺唱,
 展霞光,
 酣睡春宵香.
 梦中吟得一篇章,
 醒后笑情长!
 
 红日朗,
 心花放,
 北美楓园游荡.
 临屏与友和高歌,
 人生得几何!
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		| nightingale2 童生
 
  
 注册时间: 2009-10-22
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				|  发表于: 2010-03-26 03:05:07    发表主题: |   |  
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				| 喜欢最后一句的翻译,新颖有趣   新春愉快!万事如意!
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
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				|  发表于: 2010-03-26 05:27:30    发表主题: |   |  
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	  | nightingale2 写到: |  
	  | 喜欢最后一句的翻译,新颖有趣   新春愉快!万事如意!
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 谢谢诗友雅赏及问候!也问诗友好。新增译文如上,请指正。
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 注册时间: 2006-10-02
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				|  发表于: 2010-03-26 06:33:26    发表主题: |   |  
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				| Hi, Qingh A nice poem.
 
 
 Suggestion:
 
 And the time flies very fast like a shuttle;
 
 Change to
 
 And the time flies like a shuttle;
 
 
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		| Lake 举人
 
  
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				|  发表于: 2010-03-26 08:01:02    发表主题: |   |  
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				| Just a quick note: 
 1. I agree with moonlight about removing "very fast", because "flies like a shuttle" implies the meaning of speed.
 
 2. On the whole it reads well, but a bit of paraphrasing rather than translating.
 e.g. the first line in Chinese is a question, the English version is a statement.
 
 I'm not good at translation, but just want to tell how I feel.
 
 Thanks for sharing.
 
 Lake
 _________________
 the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
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				|  发表于: 2010-03-26 08:32:33    发表主题: |   |  
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				| 谢谢白水及Lake的建议,修改如上。 |  | 
	
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		| SLIU 秀才
 
 
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				|  发表于: 2010-04-02 00:15:59    发表主题: |   |  
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				| nice little poem... |  | 
	
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
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				|  发表于: 2010-04-02 05:32:10    发表主题: |   |  
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	  | sliu6 写到: |  
	  | nice little poem... |  
 Thanks for your appreciation!
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		| 王国栋 秀才
 
  
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				|  发表于: 2010-07-12 05:43:40    发表主题: |   |  
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				| 静心学习,体会老师翻译的五绝,收获很多。 _________________
 文学是一棵树,我就是树上唱歌的小鸟。
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