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《写给生命》
赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-26 01:19:44    Post subject: 《写给生命》 Reply with quote

《写给生命》
临时想到的是
窗外的私语,和
一树的鸟鸣。生命
只不过是热爱的理由,扑入怀中
没有花开的时候,你在路边等我
写诗,风的思绪
即是我的思绪

这样想着,浓绿就飘过叶子
飘过风声。路边的云
为黄色诠释曾经,一定
有什么错过了心跳的序曲
分明隔了一层尘世的清雾

掬一捧玫瑰香的雨水,紫色辉映的竹林里
谁的诗意挥洒。梦中早已流动的纷呈
天亮时竟是一抹淡淡的忧伤。就让雨声
滴落倾听的双耳,也许最先着地的音律
即是大地或深或浅的命题
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孙慧峰
童生


Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 97

孙慧峰Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-26 05:29:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

开头很好~
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-26 08:49:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

飘逸, 深遂
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左岸
秀才


Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-26 17:38:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

临时想到的是
窗外的私语,和
一树的鸟鸣。生命
只不过是热爱的理由,扑入怀中
没有花开的时候,你在路边等我
写诗,风的思绪
即是我的思绪

叙述柔美,委婉,语感体透。
_________________
黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-26 21:57:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

风的思绪
即是我的思绪

这样想着,浓绿就飘过叶子
飘过风声

轻灵!


是后面走远了
Very Happy
_________________
写诗是为了写更好的诗
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2007-03-05 07:25:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

多谢朋友们的阅读。
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