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冬季
骨笛
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2009
Posts: 547

骨笛Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-19 07:39:05    Post subject: 冬季 Reply with quote

所有的乞盼,残雪与枯草间
留住脚步
这个季节
太阳眩惑里透视忧伤
我扮的雪人,四肢迷失
相思,锋刃间游戈
总是被空白俘虐

望望天空
几只小鸟,还和从前一样
一棵树到另一棵树
往返的双翅,婉转歌喉
所炫耀的,正是昨天
相爱时的表情

有这样的鸟儿,扑打我的衣襟
我无比感激
若有所惑
若有所思
我有一种感觉
好象
好象树枝间有几片
绿
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-19 20:29:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

读过却有春的感受,欣赏
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半尘
童生


Joined: 24 Mar 2010
Posts: 3

半尘Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-24 07:07:15    Post subject: 冬季太漫长 Reply with quote

冬季太漫长,我禁锢的心已经快要死去了。。。突然的一枝柳绿,苏醒是在刹那间。
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-24 08:04:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

第三段处理的不太好~少了些互动~完全回到自已身上~单薄了些~
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