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火柴(外一首)
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-13 21:21:54    Post subject: 火柴(外一首) Reply with quote

(原创)火 柴 (外一首)文化·原创 2008-01-17
文/笑聊

请你把我生命点燃

哪怕只是瞬间

一瞬间最强烈的火焰

我也愿为之献出

献出最宝贵的生命



斑马 文/笑聊 (外一首)

  一个挫折,

     身上便留下一道鞭痕。

     即便鞭痕累累,

     却丝毫未减你倔强的雄姿!
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根瑶
秀才


Joined: 25 Sep 2009
Posts: 106

根瑶Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-13 21:53:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

即便鞭痕累累,
却丝毫未减你倔强的雄姿!


抒写一种感怀!问好!

哦,有的词是否打字出错,如第一首的“那怕”是否为“哪怕”之误打?个见。
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-13 22:31:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="根瑶"]即便鞭痕累累,
...[/quote]
谢谢指正!已改。

感谢根瑶朋友赏读、点评!
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-13 23:28:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

第二首有想象力。
_________________
杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection
PostPosted: 2010-03-14 04:36:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="杯中冲浪"]第二首有想象力。[/quote]
谢谢杯中冲浪斑斑点评!
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