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醉花阴-季春
笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2010-01-30 05:22:50    Post subject: 醉花阴-季春 Reply with quote

(原创)醉花阴。季春

文化·原创 2008-05-02 文/笑聊

碧阙晴空风步缓。新燕双双返。喃语了知之:无限春光,又恐花期短。

亭台醉卧酣声坦。垂柳蝶嬉远。叠翠染山河,莫道消魂,更比芙蓉畔。
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lulu
秀才


Joined: 25 Jan 2009
Posts: 264
Location: dream home
luluCollection
PostPosted: 2010-01-30 06:14:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

您的诗词很有文学功底,希望多想您学习,问好!
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荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒
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白云闲人
探花


Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466

白云闲人Collection
PostPosted: 2010-01-30 11:25:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

清风、新燕、垂柳、戏蝶 ...... 春光无限! 亭台醉卧酣声坦,消魂!芙蓉畔!真是"醉花阴"!
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2010-01-30 19:52:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

清新,生动。
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2010-01-30 21:37:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="lulu"]您的诗词很有文学功底,希望多想您学习,问好![/quote]
新年好!谢谢lulu欣赏雅评!互相学习。问好!
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2010-01-30 21:41:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="白云闲人"]清风、新燕、垂柳、戏蝶 ...... 春光无限! 亭台醉卧酣声坦,消魂!芙蓉畔!真是"醉花阴"![/quote]
问候白云兄!感谢白云兄点评《醉花阴》!
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
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PostPosted: 2010-01-30 21:43:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="白水 Moonlight"]清新,生动。[/quote]
问好!感谢雅评!
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李盈枝
状元


Joined: 28 Nov 2009
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PostPosted: 2010-01-30 21:52:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊 wrote:
(原创)醉花阴。季春
...
问好!“喃”字有二解,作象声词不单用,方言相当于“呢”才单用。“燕语”重字也比陌生用法好一些。
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李盈枝
状元


Joined: 28 Nov 2009
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PostPosted: 2010-01-30 21:58:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

【032】笑聊

卜算子•思友

不想又常思,想却添烦恼。君貌时时脑海浮,刻刻心头绕。
翠柳舞春风,花艳蜂儿笑。与子鸡湖畔上行,至此情难了。

注:鸡湖,金鸡湖。位于苏州市东郊。
09.11.19于厦门

卜算子•春游 (此词话游以铭君)

漫步曲径中, 执手鸡湖路。 柳绿桃红入眼来, 一派春光注 。
碧水浅鱼游 ,又见蜂寻舞。 最美人间画与词 ,千万和君住 。

醉花阴•季春

碧阙晴空风步缓。新燕双双返。喃语了知之:无限春光,又恐花期短。
亭台醉卧酣声坦。垂柳蝶嬉远。叠翠染山河,莫道消魂,更比芙蓉畔。


笑聊,江苏无锡。
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笑聊
探花


Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
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PostPosted: 2010-01-30 22:35:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="李盈枝"][quote="笑聊"](原创)醉花阴。季春
...[/quote]问好!“喃”字有二解,作象声词不单用,方言相当于“呢”才单用。“燕语”重字也比陌生用法好一些。[/quote]

问好前辈!喃 在此作象声词,考虑声律及避开重复而将呢喃扯开,当时就不满意。苦于无合适词语替代。谢谢前辈!
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