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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

争执

金川诗歌
童生

Joined: 05 Nov 2008
Posts: 82

金川诗歌Collection

Posted: 2009-10-25 19:53:08 Post subject: 争执

争执争执发生了无边无际的世界突然裂成两半，很小你的那半总在挤我我想走人行道你阻止我走这一侧总逼迫我走另一侧，不为什么呵我端起碗你似乎迟缓我拿筷子我要开始睡觉你却说，且慢睡眠被吓走了一多半那么，我要唱歌却被你拿走了歌调　　　二○○八年十二月十八日 _________________ 一个诗歌人,一个从四十岁开始以诗歌为生活模式与生存模式的人!

安红红
同进士出身

Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection

Posted: 2009-10-26 07:56:36 Post subject:

诗歌要表达的意境一目了然~~不过没写到位~~过于直白了~~ _________________ 如果不开始，会失去过程。 QQ：3972083 微信：qisebaihuayuan

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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