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草芦记事
雪硯
童生


Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 80
Location: 台灣‧苗栗
雪硯Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-20 06:34:45    Post subject: 草芦记事 Reply with quote

草芦记事





片微笑
,随子
夜的/
便当盒
,垂挂
月钩/
从干瘪
的唇,
印些云
彩/静
听鹙鹭
三两,






妳的
胭脂寇丹,在昨日醒来
的廊下,出走
妆镜前的慵懒神态
妈妈
捡去了

夜雾雺雺,妈妈势必要攀爬
古道与古道背后的乡愁,势必要
在老爸爸的怀中
挥赶苍蝇、蚊子与出入胸臆的

跳蚤

还要
束紧发髻
追赶时尚、食神,与
拾荒的偶然。是的
偶然。在乳房被岁月库藏、想象被封冻/以前

一路






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戀海
秀才


Joined: 04 Aug 2009
Posts: 383

戀海Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-20 13:49:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

一路由詩中帶領的滄桑風景
卻也見到
微笑領略

而這
不就是人生嗎

喜歡此詩

問好雪硯
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-20 14:22:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

乳房被岁月库藏、想象被封冻/以前

一路







结尾的排列于诗意暗合,第一段是否故意那样排?读起来阻塞呢~个见!
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雪硯
童生


Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 80
Location: 台灣‧苗栗
雪硯Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-20 20:30:30    Post subject: 问好恋海與半溪明月 Reply with quote

这种形式编结了些「草庐」的概念,
但是书写上是「去概念化」的,抵抗着读者的
阅读陈习与审美惯性。形式上,
是一种潦草的符号结构,此处姑且名之为
「草芦体」诗歌。

看起来费劲的地方,请多海涵。
因为「草庐」是一个文本概念,
其实还概括了书写上「主体」面临重构
与阅读上「认同焦虑」的影响。
意义上是双向辨证的。
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-21 10:52:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

好诗,这诗者可是到了个境界了。
雪砚兄好久不见,难得又看见,先问个好。
近来似乎大家都忙忙忙,慢慢再来读你的诗。
(本来要伏居个个把月把手上的事忙完,
看到你的诗,不由得先来问候声好!脑中仍记得
你的‘不搭村,不着店’的思考(不知在哪看到的),
再看到你的诗,令我兴奋,实话直说。)
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雪硯
童生


Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 80
Location: 台灣‧苗栗
雪硯Collection
PostPosted: 2009-09-22 04:44:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

相知相惜,謝謝博奕!
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