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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

无声

吉日木吐
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Joined: 02 Jun 2006
Posts: 567

吉日木吐Collection

Posted: 2007-02-12 02:38:53 Post subject: 无声

风追赶着落叶驱车赶着速度那一次我乘坐的一班车带着我的思念去哪里啊往南下还是往北上都是人生的需要还是迷惘中的漩涡你看吧来来去去情感的泡沫与建筑的泡沫一样难以招架时光只有它给于我更多的考验让偶的飞衫无助地荡涤在城市与乡村之间牵挂有什么劲头让我有个最后的归宿才是圆满的结局 _________________ 山水

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-02-12 19:41:15 Post subject:

情感的泡沫与建筑的泡沫一样难以招架 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

陈若祥
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Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection

Posted: 2007-02-14 03:11:43 Post subject:

很有味道，一二两节不够紧凑，感情有些直了，语言还可以再精炼些，我想，如果能够纯叙述也许会有一个大的想像空间，诗要留出空白．谈一点个人感受，仅供参考．

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
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