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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

晚归

张南城
秀才

Joined: 02 Aug 2009
Posts: 145
Location: 中国安庆
张南城Collection

Posted: 2009-08-16 04:00:18 Post subject: 晚归

晚归久客归时少，庭槐今宵见。浮世随兴去，风云时有眠。满目芳草色，一抹夕阳烟。老屋丹桂落，家门月常圆。

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2009-08-16 17:06:38 Post subject:

紧扣“晚归”二字，写出了黄昏故园景，道出了游子回归情。问好！

张南城
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Joined: 02 Aug 2009
Posts: 145
Location: 中国安庆
张南城Collection

Posted: 2009-08-16 17:29:14 Post subject:

感谢阅读与评论。初学古体诗，望多指教。

米运刚
秀才

Joined: 19 Mar 2009
Posts: 918
Location: 四川省德阳市
米运刚Collection

Posted: 2009-08-16 19:39:44 Post subject:

“家门月常圆。”真名言警句。欣赏问好！

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-08-17 06:15:07 Post subject:

游子盼望月常圆。

张南城
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Joined: 02 Aug 2009
Posts: 145
Location: 中国安庆
张南城Collection

Posted: 2009-08-18 04:29:19 Post subject:

米运刚 wrote:

“家门月常圆。”真名言警句。欣赏问好！

感谢先生的厚爱。

张南城
秀才

Joined: 02 Aug 2009
Posts: 145
Location: 中国安庆
张南城Collection

Posted: 2009-08-18 04:31:10 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

游子盼望月常圆。

感谢先生阅读。

sfiawong
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Joined: 05 May 2009
Posts: 813
Location: US/HK
sfiawongCollection

Posted: 2009-10-20 14:46:48 Post subject:

欣賞: 浮世隨興去,風云有時眠. 好在"家門月常圓." _________________ 有評必回應. Love your relatives and friends when they are near you. 我的英文詩: http://poemhunter.com/albert-wong http://facebook.com/sfiawong

又一方天
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Joined: 16 Nov 2006
Posts: 385

又一方天Collection

Posted: 2009-10-20 18:28:00 Post subject:

欣赏佳作，问好张先生。收藏、备用。 _________________ 空钩久垂钓得烟波月醉

张南城
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Joined: 02 Aug 2009
Posts: 145
Location: 中国安庆
张南城Collection

Posted: 2010-02-01 19:39:23 Post subject:

sfiawong wrote:

欣賞:

浮世隨興去,風云有時眠.

好在"家門月常圓."

先生说的正是。

张南城
秀才

Joined: 02 Aug 2009
Posts: 145
Location: 中国安庆
张南城Collection

Posted: 2010-02-01 19:41:29 Post subject:

又一方天 wrote:

欣赏佳作，问好张先生。
收藏、备用。

感谢先生的阅读与收藏。

笑聊
探花

Joined: 05 Jan 2010
Posts: 3448
Location: 中国江苏无锡
笑聊Collection

Posted: 2010-02-01 19:47:00 Post subject:

家门月常圆。佳句,欣赏!问好!

李盈枝
状元

Joined: 28 Nov 2009
Posts: 5987
Location: 中国山东
李盈枝Collection

Posted: 2010-02-02 19:21:38 Post subject:

张南城 wrote:

[b]晚归

久客归时少，
庭槐今宵见。
浮世随兴去，
风云时有眠。
满目芳草色，
一抹夕阳烟。
老屋丹桂落，
家门月常圆。

问好！大作类似古风式五律（五言拗律），颈联对仗工稳，颔联似对非对（颔联要求不严，甚至不对也可），唯觉平仄韵混押不宜。据我所知，“见”字只读作仄声。[/b]

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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

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