宁家珍
秀才
Joined: 20 May 2009
Posts: 470
Location: 中国黄山
宁家珍Collection |
 Posted: 2009-09-02 06:38:51 Post subject: 五律·秋收 |
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五律·秋收
文/宁家珍
四野稻飘香，农民乐且忙。
春时施好种，秋季获新粮。
粒粒含辛苦，筐筐聚富强。
天公仍作美，硕果满千仓。
（古韵） |
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白云闲人
探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
| Posted: 2009-09-02 13:40:30 Post subject: |
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詩情画意. 好一幅丰收景象!
_________________
诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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宁家珍
秀才
Joined: 20 May 2009
Posts: 470
Location: 中国黄山
宁家珍Collection |
| Posted: 2009-09-02 14:05:49 Post subject: To 白云闲人 |
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| 谢谢白云闲人诗友的赏读，问候。 |
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米运刚
秀才
Joined: 19 Mar 2009
Posts: 918
Location: 四川省德阳市
米运刚Collection |
| Posted: 2009-09-02 17:06:56 Post subject: |
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| 一幅农家乐景象。问好！ |
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qinghongh
榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
| Posted: 2009-09-03 06:00:13 Post subject: |
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| 新时代田园诗。 |
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戴玨
秀才
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808
戴玨Collection |
| Posted: 2009-09-05 05:31:35 Post subject: |
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末句平仄不對，可考慮改為：
碩果滿千倉。
之類的。
_________________
I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄 |
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qinghongh
榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
| Posted: 2009-09-05 05:51:26 Post subject: |
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| 戴玨 wrote: |
末句平仄不對，可考慮改為：
碩果滿千倉。
之類的。 |
的确“满”为仄声出律，应改用平声字。 |
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宁家珍
秀才
Joined: 20 May 2009
Posts: 470
Location: 中国黄山
宁家珍Collection |
| Posted: 2009-09-07 05:55:24 Post subject: 谢谢各位诗友 |
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| 谢谢楼上各位诗友的宝贵意见，一并问候。 |
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