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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

巨型诗歌《渡轮》草稿刚写到第35节，发出来分享一下

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2006-10-14 18:38:11 Post subject: 巨型诗歌《渡轮》草稿刚写到第35节，发出来分享一下

巨型诗歌《渡轮》草稿刚写到第35节，发出来分享一下和平岛 35．十万八千里之后的浩淼烟波我是经历了自然选择的一枚石子可以从唇边射出一介凡夫的俗骨可以掂在掌心，幻化成佩于胸前的蓝田美玉，激赏过一千零一夜之后将耗尽所有东方和西式的智慧而结果是冲天而起的一千种鸟声在大海空旷的腹地传回袅袅的余音余音的袅袅在洪宇间的一声漆黑的叹息星际的一粒尘埃可以是比地球还大，比月海还宽比一颗石子浪迹还远，还悬于空间比我还苍白的一滴眼泪，拒绝重力哦，我走了，走得像行云那般轻描流水那般淡写，消失了，像渡轮呕吐出的一股浓烟的背影用躬身的幻想靠近你，是夜，你咳出一口郁郁的寡欢。不必作别的技巧了哦，只用了一声轻轻的叹息又完成了一次轮回 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2006-10-14 19:07:41 Post subject:

只用了一声轻轻的叹息又完成了一次轮回

墨染红颜
童生

Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 69

墨染红颜Collection

Posted: 2006-10-15 02:28:22 Post subject:

如此巨作只看到35节啊，欣赏：） _________________ 风花飞有态，烟絮坠无痕。

左岸
秀才

Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection

Posted: 2006-10-15 06:42:56 Post subject:

墨染红颜 wrote:

如此巨作只看到35节啊，欣赏：）

文笔流畅，背景辽阔，时空感强，学习，问好和平岛兄弟，祝大作早日问世！
_________________
黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河

孙慧峰
童生

Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 97

孙慧峰Collection

Posted: 2006-10-18 02:59:02 Post subject:

这节比三十六节更疏密有致,顿挫的韵律也明显~

黎凛
童生

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 76

黎凛Collection

Posted: 2006-10-19 19:03:39 Post subject:

祝贺大作问世！学习了。无羁的想象给人以开阔的视野。

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2006-10-19 19:30:58 Post subject:

谢谢这是《Mount Tolmie》的继篇将把原有的故事，进一步发展演绎 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

鹤雨
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 113
Location: 上海
鹤雨Collection

Posted: 2006-10-19 23:52:27 Post subject: 笔力很有气势!

期待宏篇诞出!拜读问好! _________________ 愿意和大家共同进步!

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2006-10-21 03:24:32 Post subject:

拜读了。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2006-10-24 03:00:59 Post subject:

冲天而起的一千种鸟声。。。。祝贺大作即将问世！

ggww
童生

Joined: 23 Jul 2009
Posts: 11

ggwwCollection

Posted: 2009-07-23 22:37:50 Post subject:

哥哥问我

刘浪
秀才

Joined: 04 Dec 2008
Posts: 227

刘浪Collection

Posted: 2009-07-25 01:08:44 Post subject:

读了。葱白一下。 _________________ 是金子也会花光地

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2009-07-27 11:03:53 Post subject:

顶。继续期待！ _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

情巅大僧
童生

Joined: 25 Jun 2009
Posts: 33

情巅大僧Collection

Posted: 2009-07-27 18:39:37 Post subject:

学习！！ _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1617043603

唐伯虎
秀才

Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 120

唐伯虎Collection

Posted: 2009-07-28 05:32:05 Post subject:

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2009-07-28 15:18:22 Post subject:

thanks _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

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