| 和平岛 举人
 
  
 Joined: 25 May 2006
 Posts: 1277
 Location: Victoria, Canada
 和平岛Collection
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				|  Posted: 2006-10-14 18:38:11    Post subject: 巨型诗歌《渡轮》草稿刚写到第35节,发出来分享一下 |   |  
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				| 巨型诗歌《渡轮》草稿刚写到第35节,发出来分享一下 和平岛
 
 35.
 十万八千里之后的浩淼烟波
 我是经历了自然选择的一枚石子
 可以从唇边射出
 一介凡夫的俗骨
 可以掂在掌心,幻化成
 佩于胸前的蓝田
 美玉,激赏过一千零一夜之后
 将耗尽所有东方和西式的智慧
 而结果是
 冲天而起的一千种鸟声
 在大海空旷的腹地
 传回袅袅的余音
 
 余音的袅袅
 在洪宇间的一声漆黑的叹息
 星际的一粒尘埃可以是
 比地球还大,比月海还宽
 比一颗石子浪迹还远,还悬于空间
 比我还苍白的一滴眼泪,拒绝重力
 
 哦,我走了,走得像行云那般轻描
 流水那般淡写,消失了,像渡轮呕吐出的
 一股浓烟的背影
 用躬身的幻想靠近你,是夜,你
 咳出一口郁郁的寡欢。不必作别的技巧了
 哦,只用了一声轻轻的叹息
 又完成了一次轮回
 _________________
 写诗是为了写更好的诗
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 Joined: 02 Oct 2006
 Posts: 14102
 Location: TORONTO
 白水Collection
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				|  Posted: 2006-10-14 19:07:41    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 只用了一声轻轻的叹息 又完成了一次轮回
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		| 墨染红颜 童生
 
 
 Joined: 08 Oct 2006
 Posts: 69
 
 墨染红颜Collection
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				|  Posted: 2006-10-15 02:28:22    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 如此巨作只看到35节啊,欣赏:) _________________
 风花飞有态,烟絮坠无痕。
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		| 左岸 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 12 Oct 2006
 Posts: 215
 Location: 中国大连
 左岸Collection
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				|  Posted: 2006-10-15 06:42:56    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 墨染红颜 wrote: |  
	  | 如此巨作只看到35节啊,欣赏:) |  
 文笔流畅,背景辽阔,时空感强,学习,问好和平岛兄弟,祝大作早日问世!
 _________________
 黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
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		| 孙慧峰 童生
 
 
 Joined: 09 Oct 2006
 Posts: 97
 
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				|  Posted: 2006-10-18 02:59:02    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 这节比三十六节更疏密有致,顿挫的韵律也明显~ |  | 
	
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		| 黎凛 童生
 
 
 Joined: 30 Sep 2006
 Posts: 76
 
 黎凛Collection
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				|  Posted: 2006-10-19 19:03:39    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 祝贺大作问世!学习了。无羁的想象给人以开阔的视野。 |  | 
	
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		| 和平岛 举人
 
  
 Joined: 25 May 2006
 Posts: 1277
 Location: Victoria, Canada
 和平岛Collection
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				|  Posted: 2006-10-19 19:30:58    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 谢谢 
 这是《Mount Tolmie》的继篇
 
 将把原有的故事,进一步发展演绎
 
  _________________
 写诗是为了写更好的诗
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		| 鹤雨 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 30 Sep 2006
 Posts: 113
 Location: 上海
 鹤雨Collection
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				|  Posted: 2006-10-19 23:52:27    Post subject: 笔力很有气势! |   |  
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				| 期待宏篇诞出!拜读问好! _________________
 愿意和大家共同进步!
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		| 杯中冲浪 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 29 Sep 2006
 Posts: 2891
 Location: 中国
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		| 赵福治 探花
 
  
 Joined: 30 May 2006
 Posts: 3456
 Location: 中国北京
 赵福治Collection
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				|  Posted: 2006-10-24 03:00:59    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 冲天而起的一千种鸟声。。。。祝贺大作即将问世! |  | 
	
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		| ggww 童生
 
 
 Joined: 23 Jul 2009
 Posts: 11
 
 ggwwCollection
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				|  Posted: 2009-07-23 22:37:50    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 哥哥问我 |  | 
	
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		| 刘浪 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 04 Dec 2008
 Posts: 227
 
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				|  Posted: 2009-07-25 01:08:44    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 读了。葱白一下。  _________________
 是金子也会 花 光地
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		| 韩少君 进士出身
 
  
 Joined: 06 Apr 2007
 Posts: 2558
 Location: 吉林四平
 韩少君Collection
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				|  Posted: 2009-07-27 11:03:53    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 顶。继续期待! _________________
 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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		| 情巅大僧 童生
 
 
 Joined: 25 Jun 2009
 Posts: 33
 
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		| 唐伯虎 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 26 Dec 2006
 Posts: 120
 
 唐伯虎Collection
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				|  Posted: 2009-07-28 05:32:05    Post subject: |   |  
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		| hepingdao Site Admin
 
  
 Joined: 25 May 2006
 Posts: 8106
 
 hepingdaoCollection
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				|  Posted: 2009-07-28 15:18:22    Post subject: |   |  
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				| thanks _________________
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