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北美枫 首页 -> 西方文学 Western Literature 发表新帖   回复帖子
Under the Ruins
Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
帖子: 1286

Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2009-05-29 05:17:38    发表主题: Under the Ruins 引用并回复

Under the Ruins

Life waits inside us for a spark to be struck.
Life is a new bud atop an old branch.
Life is ceaseless as waves chase seabirds.
Life is that sleeping, plump infant
trapped in the debris from an 8.0-magnitude
earthquake. He sucks in milk and blood
from his mother’s nipples, breathing
in a narrow space, arched by flesh and bones.
It is May, a time of May flowers and Mother’s day.
In the rocking arms of a rescuer, he stares, smiles
around, trying to make out who these strangers are.
Life shines in his curious eyes.



(Changed L1 and L3 from "Life waits inside us like a spark struck from flint." and "Life is ceaseless as streams running towards the sea.")
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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kino
秀才


注册时间: 2006-12-23
帖子: 411
来自: beijing
kino北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2009-05-30 17:03:19    发表主题: 引用并回复

we should learn to be strong although life is but suffering (quoting the latin motto "Vita humana est supplicium").
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2009-06-01 16:46:18    发表主题: 引用并回复

Life is beautiful, unless one's life is hell.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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justjust
童生


注册时间: 2009-03-13
帖子: 13

justjust北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2009-06-03 20:14:21    发表主题: 引用并回复

very good poem. the first line kind of eludes me. can a spark struck from flint wait?
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2009-06-11 05:46:35    发表主题: 引用并回复

Thank you justjust for your question.

I have it revised. See how it sounds now.

Thanks.

Lake
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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宁家珍
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注册时间: 2009-05-20
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来自: 中国黄山
宁家珍北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2009-06-11 20:07:05    发表主题: 引用并回复

It's a very good poem and I like reading it . I have to learn from you .
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justjust
童生


注册时间: 2009-03-13
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justjust北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2009-07-08 14:29:32    发表主题: 引用并回复

Lake 写到:

Life waits inside us for a spark to be struck.
Life is a new bud atop an old branch.
Life is ceaseless as waves chase seabirds.
Life is that sleeping, plump infant


rhetorically i prefer something like this (though probably not semantically sound) :
life is a bright spark in a dark night
life is a new bud atop an old branch
life is a ceaseless wave in the boundless sea
life is that sleeping, plump infant
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Lake
举人


注册时间: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2009-07-17 04:29:50    发表主题: 引用并回复

Thanks, just, for coming back to it. I see your point, rhetorically. I was thinking to do it a bit differently, with some minor variations.

Thanks again.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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