Maple Review :: View topic - 缓慢之旅程

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

缓慢之旅程

烟Eva
童生

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 湖北赤壁
烟EvaCollection

Posted: 2009-04-20 23:58:45 Post subject: 缓慢之旅程

缓慢之旅程文/曼陀林 1. 从湖北到广东你用三分之二丈量青春的峡谷中年的盆地一些细小的小比寸草更低比蜗牛更慢驮着你不能使你更快抵达快速的是挥别的黄手帕向后闪躲进故乡村舍的树木而你是要前行的携带一滴春天的雨水听它过隧道时准确无误滴向幽暗的内部尖锐地撞疼铁轨 2. 减掉旧年的衣衫你想跻身灯火通明的夜晚你的白天在各个职业里辗转颠簸广东的太阳海风一路摇晃你黝黑的皮肤你没随粤语的姓氏只有出租屋的蟑螂认领你同你和平分割十平米的空间与你楚汉交界的国贸大厦夜夜爬过你的额头你仰视它却不得而入玻璃旋转门斜瞰奢糜的霓虹灯从门缝里探出头来无比犀利地打量你二00九年四月二十一日于广东中山那丝丝缕缕的那飘飘缈缈的那美到极致的那余韵悠长的。。。。。。我的博客: http://blog.sina.com.cn/yanmdeboke _________________ 那丝丝缕缕的那飘飘缈缈的那美到极致的那余韵悠长的。。。。。。我的博客: http://blog.sina.com.cn/yanmdeboke

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2009-04-21 09:58:43 Post subject:

很好的题材。写得也不错。继续。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

安红红
同进士出身

Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection

Posted: 2009-04-21 16:24:33 Post subject:

细致敏锐~漂泊他乡打拼生活会有这样的感受的~不知哪个窗口冒出的灯火永远是自已的~ 问好~ _________________ 如果不开始，会失去过程。 QQ：3972083 微信：qisebaihuayuan

晴宝儿
秀才

Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 666

晴宝儿Collection

Posted: 2009-04-21 22:57:30 Post subject:

旅途艰辛又苍凉，作品贴近现实感触真实！ _________________ 晴宝儿

烟Eva
童生

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 湖北赤壁
烟EvaCollection

Posted: 2009-04-22 00:38:00 Post subject:

nobody wrote:

很好的题材。写得也不错。继续。

谢谢nobody点评.我继续努力.
_________________
那丝丝缕缕的那飘飘缈缈的那美到极致的那余韵悠长的。。。。。。
我的博客: http://blog.sina.com.cn/yanmdeboke

烟Eva
童生

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 湖北赤壁
烟EvaCollection

Posted: 2009-04-22 00:49:33 Post subject:

安红红 wrote:

细致敏锐~漂泊他乡打拼生活会有这样的感受的~不知哪个窗口冒出的灯火永远是自已的~
...

要想被接纳,好难.问好安红红.
_________________
那丝丝缕缕的那飘飘缈缈的那美到极致的那余韵悠长的。。。。。。
我的博客: http://blog.sina.com.cn/yanmdeboke

烟Eva
童生

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 湖北赤壁
烟EvaCollection

Posted: 2009-04-22 00:51:25 Post subject:

晴宝儿 wrote:

旅途艰辛又苍凉，作品贴近现实感触真实！

生存!磨砺出来的诗歌!抱抱宝儿.
_________________
那丝丝缕缕的那飘飘缈缈的那美到极致的那余韵悠长的。。。。。。
我的博客: http://blog.sina.com.cn/yanmdeboke

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2009-04-29 16:26:27 Post subject:

写实，感人。问好1/4 个老乡

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