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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

风水长，风水长，

天一黑
童生

Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 52

天一黑Collection

Posted: 2007-09-27 19:30:40 Post subject: 风水长，风水长，

风水长，风水长，山岗上散漫的林间没有牛羊，却是红顶洋房今年的草色有些发黄俺躺在草上脱下一件件衣裳 2。雨说来又走天似乎高些林子深处的风不弃仍喧哗不止我看林边的叶子颜色有清瘦的高兴想和它们合影请来照相 3。女人的眼睛很亮她看山下的景色，山下的云彩已快跑光我有些害怕，她的眼神似乎在思想我急忙打岔，说她比云彩漂亮她有回到了漂亮

迪拜
同进士出身

Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection

Posted: 2007-09-27 21:41:51 Post subject:

歌谣一般的诗歌清新

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2007-09-28 16:30:23 Post subject:

再往前走一步 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-09-28 16:38:50 Post subject:

不错.有韵律之美建议删去 : 她有回到了漂亮. _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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