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母亲书
玲子
童生


Joined: 14 Nov 2006
Posts: 43
Location: 甘肃兰州
玲子Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-23 19:40:08    Post subject: 母亲书 Reply with quote

母亲书
 
玲子
 
 
 
孩子,请听我说
房子,票子
以及触手可及的豪车
均不是你我的积攒
 
你要看见一个少女
怎样变出圆润的子房
把婴儿的笑脸
举至眉骨的位置
 
还有宿命的蛇
在卑下的人足中
被践踏过的影子 悬崖
一样危险的黑暗
她独自涉过
 
她几乎说不出话来
的单词 每一组
都是皱纹的重述
是碾平柔嫩肌肤的粗盐
在冷风里闪亮
 
还要告诉你
她的坚韧 是一棵树
你幼草的茎叶染绿的
原色系
你升及的天空里栖息的
幕墙
一件件拆解出来的
骨气的碎片
 
还有十六年
她可以牺牲掉的
容颜 节省和被自己亲手
拒绝掉的玫瑰
(它在有人的辞典上
仅找到“玩弄”二字)
她无可争辩的孩子卫士的
背水一战
是怎样的孤寂的子弹
曾穿透她年轻的心?
 
当任性的你
扭曲成为一把雪刃
武器成为导演者的武器
那些你病着的日子
吐血的日子
和她抱着你举债陪你住院而无人
问津的日子
她扛起它的一万吨分量的蓝
能挪动多远
 
孩子,你取走的温度
第一次风向的旅程的哭泣
湿润了每一格画面
在她的暗夜里着床
她领走自己
把日子压榨到洗劫一空
低头赶写她的禅
抬抬头 避开天色的剧痛
 
 
2007-1-23
 
 
 
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-23 20:04:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

母爱是永恒的. 问好
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-01-23 23:22:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

饱经风霜之真知灼见
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-24 06:45:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

再锤炼一下才好。
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-01-24 20:52:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏 玲子

Cool
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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司马策风
举人


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-24 23:51:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

好久不见玲子的诗歌了,很是想念。以前也读过几首玲子的诗歌,

感觉语言的力度较大,思想深刻,非一般女性相若。不过有的语言似乎还可发酵。

握手
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黄昏雨
童生


Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 67
Location: 福建
黄昏雨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-25 22:03:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

这首好诗各位怎么不加精啊?
读后很感动,虽然感动好象被人们用死了。哈哈。
但我有一个建议,是不是把大多数的句子都像“和她抱着你举债陪你住院而无人
问津的日子”这一句这样处理,使上下句绵绵不绝,这样会更好地表达诗歌里所要表达的感情。当然也只是建议而已。问好。
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手在弦上,心在风中
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黄昏雨
童生


Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 67
Location: 福建
黄昏雨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-25 22:05:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

这首好诗各位怎么不加精啊?
读后很感动,虽然感动好象被人们用死了。哈哈。
但我有一个建议,是不是把大多数的句子都像“和她抱着你举债陪你住院而无人
问津的日子”这一句这样处理,使上下句绵绵不绝,这样会更好地表达诗歌里所要表达的感情。当然也只是建议而已。问好。
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手在弦上,心在风中
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