qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2009-04-08 07:31:24 Post subject: 七绝 春日乡思 |
|
|
七绝 春日乡思
四月花开如画卷,桃红柳绿燕飞还。
春风若解思乡曲,吹送白云作远帆。
(白:新韵平声。)
新改:
七绝 春日乡思
四月花开如画卷,桃红柳绿燕飞还。
春风若解思乡曲,吹送云霞作远帆。 |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2009-04-08 11:29:21 Post subject: |
|
|
诗情画意! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
自然风 童生
Joined: 20 Feb 2009 Posts: 53
自然风Collection |
Posted: 2009-04-08 22:44:09 Post subject: 探讨 |
|
|
| qinghongh wrote: |
七绝 春日乡思
... |
白字如作仄声,则此句就犯孤平了。不知对否。见谅。 |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2009-04-09 06:38:53 Post subject: |
|
|
| 自然风 wrote: |
| qinghongh wrote: |
七绝 春日乡思
... |
白字如作仄声,则此句就犯孤平了。不知对否。见谅。 |
谢诗友指出。白在《新华字典》里是第二声,应该是平声。这里就做新韵吧。 |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2009-04-09 06:39:51 Post subject: |
|
|
谢白云老师雅赏 |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2009-04-09 11:38:53 Post subject: |
|
|
| qinghongh wrote: |
七绝 春日乡思
... |
新改如下:
七绝 春日乡思
四月花开如画卷,桃红柳绿燕飞还。
春风若解思乡曲,吹送云霞作远帆。 |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
王君明 秀才

Joined: 03 Apr 2007 Posts: 250 Location: 甘肃天水 王君明Collection |
Posted: 2009-04-10 00:01:45 Post subject: |
|
|
春风若解思乡曲,吹送云帆回故园。
转结见精彩。 _________________ 虚拟网络 真实生活 |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2009-04-10 01:38:00 Post subject: |
|
|
| 王君明 wrote: |
春风若解思乡曲,吹送云帆回故园。
转结见精彩。 |
谢君明兄赏读雅评。 |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
|