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舍身崖——黄淮自律体小诗选(3首)
黄淮
秀才


Joined: 08 Feb 2009
Posts: 135

黄淮Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-18 17:19:19    Post subject: 舍身崖——黄淮自律体小诗选(3首) Reply with quote

舍身崖——黄淮自律体小诗选(3首)



登顶,没人拉你?

临崖,有人推你?



游客至此

人人心虚



卵 石
直立成墙的脊柱

横卧成路的筋骨



没有水泥的包容

难成坚硬的核心



挂 钟

秒针,匆匆忙忙

分针,慢慢悠悠

时针,稳稳当当



同时起跑

谁能夺冠
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以诗开慧,以爱塑魂;以侓立体,以意传神;律随情移,体缘律立;以律为纲,振兴新诗。
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-19 01:02:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

有哲理少诗意。问好!
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个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-25 01:43:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

登顶,没人拉你?

临崖,有人推你?



游客至此

人人心虚


不只是游客~
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每个诗人都很重要
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-25 01:54:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

再一想:诗写到此种地步,何必写呢?

真不如回家卖红薯


问好黄先生
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-25 01:56:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好.注意到你的诗歌有一段时间了, 有许多内涵是很不错的. 如果能再展开点,再多一点诗意会更好些. 盼读到更多更好的诗歌 Very Happy
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-25 09:14:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

那篇一詩一律的文章還是抓到轉機的,
最好能反映到文字裡, 再放開些才好.
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(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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nobody
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Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2009-02-25 12:39:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

抱打不平 Very Happy 表示支持。
好(喜好)诗比好(好坏)诗重要。
严格点讲,很少看见好诗。我自己就没写过好诗。大都是敝帚自珍而已。
愿大家都享受过程。
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-25 14:04:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

大家的意见都很中肯。诗意很重要,否则就是格言警句了。诗,还是讲究审美的。真,不一定美。但是,发帖自愿,回帖自由。
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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