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木鱼诗歌,大家共批!
木鱼
童生


Joined: 20 Oct 2008
Posts: 34

木鱼Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-21 16:39:34    Post subject: 木鱼诗歌,大家共批! Reply with quote

我把雪领进家门

文/木鱼

那是在北国才有的独特女子
我把她领进那个叫幸福的
穷乡村,见见我的父母

我的雪,温暖,纯洁,多情。一副
含情如水的样子。我的村庄,破旧,沉郁,松动,
广褒而厚爱。我的父母,苍老,疲惫,瘦弱
宛若自燃的枯柴。我的爱深沉,厚重,久而不衰

这是初春的我的雪
我把她领进家门,领进爹娘
空旷的心灵,我的雪
要好好侍奉我的爹娘



逃离几片雪花

文/木鱼

今天早上,和几片雪花不期而遇
她们忧郁的眼神和我对视
急奔而走,我准备逃离现场
发现他们更多的眼神
怒视着我,像在质问这个
叫春暖花开的日子里
为什么会出现几个叫雪的纯洁女子
无辜地死亡……


姐姐

文/木鱼

我希望有个姐姐,那样我可以告诉她
姐姐,春天来了
我已是一个浪子,踏上,这条铺满乡愁的路
一个人孤独的四季,呆在远方,停留。

姐姐,春天来了
蒲公英,在春天里醒来,始终记得
那粒飘了很久,很久
很远,很远的一粒种子与梦想

姐姐,春天来了
父亲,母亲,待在故乡。房屋是旧的,日子是
苦的。老枣树越显苍劲,盘虬卧龙。
可能,还有一颗枣子,不,是两颗
一颗是你,一颗是我

姐姐,春天来了
阳光,日子,风,和故乡的故事,都在成长。
纵使,我不能一一道出,可是姐姐
这个春天我可以复活,可以
继续梦着……



带花围巾的少女

文木鱼
带花围巾的少女,坐在阳光下
像一朵含羞的百合花,娇艳欲滴
她拥有八仙的酒杯,于淡粉的脸颊
宛若春暖花开
桃花梦里的红尘,羞红,美好。


带花围巾的少女,坐在时间的帆里
带着满心的爱,和浪漫,比我们
提前在春天里
盛开
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-21 22:31:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏。好文采。
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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安红红
同进士出身


Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-21 22:40:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

对故乡有很深的感情~喜欢看写到雪的句段~深爱却无法挽留的疼痛~

姐姐这首也不错~内心隐隐的忧虑和不停息的渴望~

诗句绵柔真诚~~问好~
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如果不开始,会失去过程。
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孙国福
童生


Joined: 08 Feb 2009
Posts: 63
Location: 吉林长春
孙国福Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-22 03:40:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

学习!欣赏!
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在这片贫瘠的土地上我播种苦难收获苦难来磨砺我思想的剑
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木鱼
童生


Joined: 20 Oct 2008
Posts: 34

木鱼Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-22 23:51:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好大家!欢迎来指点!
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-23 04:28:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

看得出来,有功底~欣赏,欢迎多来!
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2009-02-24 02:30:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错。更喜欢姐姐这一首,诗意和语言都迷人。问好!
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个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180
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