Maple Review :: View topic - 宿命的花（外一首）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

宿命的花（外一首）

南山一石
童生

Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 中国广东
南山一石Collection

Posted: 2009-02-10 06:08:08 Post subject: 宿命的花（外一首）

宿命的花并不是所有的花朵都能到达黎明风之上雨之下总是暗藏刀锋打开白天的河流飞鸟一样的花瓣静静的沉在水底深夜的蔷薇游离白天之外被黑色蚕食的一朵孤单火焰在寂静的旷野来回扭动无法挣脱细密的牙齿温软的角尖反复倾斜无法戳破湿重的寒气萎缩的温暖在抵达水内心的途中选择缄默 _________________ 诗是水，起于泥土，止于泥土，是自然的流露。

安红红
同进士出身

Joined: 07 Feb 2009
Posts: 1808

安红红Collection

Posted: 2009-02-10 06:16:31 Post subject:

并不是所有的花朵都能到达黎明风之上雨之下总是暗藏刀锋这段不错～下截承接僵硬了些～深夜蔷薇，也许是它的宿命～所有带刺花的宿命～排版的时候，注意把诗的标题加上《》，便于阅读，也是对自已作品的尊重～多写～喜欢看～ _________________ 如果不开始，会失去过程。 QQ：3972083 微信：qisebaihuayuan

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2009-02-11 18:36:42 Post subject:

温软的感觉。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

孙国福
童生

Joined: 08 Feb 2009
Posts: 63
Location: 吉林长春
孙国福Collection

Posted: 2009-02-12 00:46:05 Post subject:

文字跳跃性很强！欣赏！ _________________ 在这片贫瘠的土地上我播种苦难收获苦难来磨砺我思想的剑

南山一石
童生

Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 中国广东
南山一石Collection

Posted: 2009-02-12 06:58:19 Post subject:

谢谢，问好。 _________________ 诗是水，起于泥土，止于泥土，是自然的流露。

吟啸徐行
举人

Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 1336
Location: 中国安徽
吟啸徐行Collection

Posted: 2009-02-12 18:45:50 Post subject:

有个性也坚强的蔷薇花,语言力度大,迸发着诗意. _________________ 彰显自我爱好,弘扬民族文化,追求诗意生活.

南山一石
童生

Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Posts: 64
Location: 中国广东
南山一石Collection

Posted: 2009-02-13 18:34:18 Post subject:

谢谢，请多指点。 _________________ 诗是水，起于泥土，止于泥土，是自然的流露。

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