南之北 童生
Joined: 02 Dec 2008 Posts: 81 Location: 大陆 南之北Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-01 18:46:58 Post subject: 也发游仙体古风一首(九宫山歌),祝各位新年快乐! |
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注:湖北九宫山为道教五大名山之一,此为昔年吾游后所作游仙体古风一首,能入行家法眼否?
九宫山歌(古风)
作者:南之北
浩浩八百里, 蔚然有奇山。
孑然遗世立, 使我动心颜。
巉岩接天去, 山势入云端。
开合有仙意, 吞吐气万千。
浓雾侵衣冷, 山风刺骨寒。
苍苔生绝壁, 白水出石泉。
深涧飞寒雪, 悬崖下紫烟。
圆天笼野际, 层巅露云边。
云边有龟黛, 鼓荡若飞然。
乱云翻似海, 危石浮若船。
高天狂飙过, 轻舟欲扬帆。
我愿乘槎去, 渡海访三山。
借问仙家客, 可赐不老丹?
龙媒虽有幸, 徐福去未还。
千载痴心子, 谁解镜花缘! |
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黄洋界 探花
Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-01 21:33:27 Post subject: |
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读之,古意盎然,有飘飘欲仙之感.新年好! _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2009-01-02 04:38:34 Post subject: |
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古风仙山,南兄妙笔。祝新年快乐! |
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南之北 童生
Joined: 02 Dec 2008 Posts: 81 Location: 大陆 南之北Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-02 23:38:11 Post subject: |
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黄洋界 wrote: |
读之,古意盎然,有飘飘欲仙之感.新年好! |
谢君欣赏及点评,问好先生! |
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南之北 童生
Joined: 02 Dec 2008 Posts: 81 Location: 大陆 南之北Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-02 23:40:21 Post subject: |
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qinghongh wrote: |
古风仙山,南兄妙笔。祝新年快乐! |
谢兄谬赏,新年快乐! |
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冰清 同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-03 13:04:06 Post subject: |
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开合有仙意, 吞吐气万千。
新年快乐! |
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南之北 童生
Joined: 02 Dec 2008 Posts: 81 Location: 大陆 南之北Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-03 15:35:35 Post subject: |
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冰清 wrote: |
开合有仙意, 吞吐气万千。
新年快乐! |
新年快乐,万事如意! |
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野航 秀才
Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 547 Location: toronto 野航Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-06 13:30:25 Post subject: |
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浩浩八百里, 蔚然有奇山。
孑然遗世立, 使我动心颜。 _________________ 回归自然 回归心灵 回归传统 |
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南之北 童生
Joined: 02 Dec 2008 Posts: 81 Location: 大陆 南之北Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-06 21:23:34 Post subject: |
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谢野航兄光临!问好! _________________ 我的诗词吾爱网个人主页:http://www.52shici.com/space.php?mem_id=6419 |
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暗浮烟 童生
Joined: 12 Jan 2009 Posts: 24
暗浮烟Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-12 16:43:23 Post subject: |
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前面写的还行,后面写的有点偏了。总的看还可以。 |
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南之北 童生
Joined: 02 Dec 2008 Posts: 81 Location: 大陆 南之北Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-13 17:27:38 Post subject: |
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暗浮烟 wrote: |
前面写的还行,后面写的有点偏了。总的看还可以。 |
谢君临贴指教!后面写的偏了能否明示?
问好! |
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晓松 举人
Joined: 26 Feb 2007 Posts: 1192
晓松Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-15 18:43:04 Post subject: |
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前面大幅写景,接下来:
我愿乘槎去, 渡海访三山。
借问仙家客, 可赐不老丹?
龙媒虽有幸, 徐福去未还。
则是赋予了丰富的想象。末了,“镜花缘”用的极好! |
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南之北 童生
Joined: 02 Dec 2008 Posts: 81 Location: 大陆 南之北Collection |
Posted: 2009-01-15 20:12:53 Post subject: |
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晓松 wrote: |
前面大幅写景,接下来:
... |
谢晓松兄欣赏点评,问好! |
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