Maple Review :: View topic - 也发游仙体古风一首（九宫山歌），祝各位新年快乐！

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Maple Review Home -> 古韵新音

也发游仙体古风一首（九宫山歌），祝各位新年快乐！

南之北
童生

Joined: 02 Dec 2008
Posts: 81
Location: 大陆
南之北Collection

Posted: 2009-01-01 18:46:58 Post subject: 也发游仙体古风一首（九宫山歌），祝各位新年快乐！

注：湖北九宫山为道教五大名山之一，此为昔年吾游后所作游仙体古风一首，能入行家法眼否？九宫山歌（古风）作者：南之北浩浩八百里，蔚然有奇山。孑然遗世立，使我动心颜。巉岩接天去，山势入云端。开合有仙意，吞吐气万千。浓雾侵衣冷，山风刺骨寒。苍苔生绝壁，白水出石泉。深涧飞寒雪，悬崖下紫烟。圆天笼野际，层巅露云边。云边有龟黛，鼓荡若飞然。乱云翻似海，危石浮若船。高天狂飙过，轻舟欲扬帆。我愿乘槎去，渡海访三山。借问仙家客，可赐不老丹？龙媒虽有幸，徐福去未还。千载痴心子，谁解镜花缘！

黄洋界
探花

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection

Posted: 2009-01-01 21:33:27 Post subject:

读之,古意盎然,有飘飘欲仙之感.新年好! _________________ ++++++++++++++ 喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰

qinghongh
榜眼

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

qinghonghCollection

Posted: 2009-01-02 04:38:34 Post subject:

古风仙山，南兄妙笔。祝新年快乐！

南之北
童生

Joined: 02 Dec 2008
Posts: 81
Location: 大陆
南之北Collection

Posted: 2009-01-02 23:38:11 Post subject:

黄洋界 wrote:

读之,古意盎然,有飘飘欲仙之感.新年好!

谢君欣赏及点评，问好先生！

南之北
童生

Joined: 02 Dec 2008
Posts: 81
Location: 大陆
南之北Collection

Posted: 2009-01-02 23:40:21 Post subject:

qinghongh wrote:

古风仙山，南兄妙笔。祝新年快乐！

谢兄谬赏，新年快乐！

冰清
同进士出身

Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection

Posted: 2009-01-03 13:04:06 Post subject:

开合有仙意，吞吐气万千。新年快乐！

南之北
童生

Joined: 02 Dec 2008
Posts: 81
Location: 大陆
南之北Collection

Posted: 2009-01-03 15:35:35 Post subject:

冰清 wrote:

开合有仙意，吞吐气万千。

新年快乐！

新年快乐，万事如意！

野航
秀才

Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 547
Location: toronto
野航Collection

Posted: 2009-01-06 13:30:25 Post subject:

浩浩八百里，蔚然有奇山。孑然遗世立，使我动心颜。 _________________ 回归自然回归心灵回归传统

南之北
童生

Joined: 02 Dec 2008
Posts: 81
Location: 大陆
南之北Collection

Posted: 2009-01-06 21:23:34 Post subject:

谢野航兄光临！问好！ _________________ 我的诗词吾爱网个人主页：http://www.52shici.com/space.php?mem_id=6419

暗浮烟
童生

Joined: 12 Jan 2009
Posts: 24

暗浮烟Collection

Posted: 2009-01-12 16:43:23 Post subject:

前面写的还行，后面写的有点偏了。总的看还可以。

南之北
童生

Joined: 02 Dec 2008
Posts: 81
Location: 大陆
南之北Collection

Posted: 2009-01-13 17:27:38 Post subject:

暗浮烟 wrote:

前面写的还行，后面写的有点偏了。总的看还可以。

谢君临贴指教！后面写的偏了能否明示？
问好！

晓松
举人

Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 1192

晓松Collection

Posted: 2009-01-15 18:43:04 Post subject:

前面大幅写景，接下来：我愿乘槎去，渡海访三山。借问仙家客，可赐不老丹？龙媒虽有幸，徐福去未还。则是赋予了丰富的想象。末了，“镜花缘”用的极好！

南之北
童生

Joined: 02 Dec 2008
Posts: 81
Location: 大陆
南之北Collection

Posted: 2009-01-15 20:12:53 Post subject:

晓松 wrote:

前面大幅写景，接下来：
...

谢晓松兄欣赏点评，问好！

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