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北美楓 首頁 -> English Poetry 發錶新帖   回復帖子
Whole <> 全部 - Ms Slavick
kokho
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註册時間: 2006-11-30
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來自: Singapore
kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-01-10 00:35:43    發錶主題: Whole <> 全部 - Ms Slavick 引用並回復

。 Whole
<> Madeleine Marie Slavick

Cut some green out
for a little fresh shirt
or frilly kitchen curtains
and you’ve orphaned a shrub
Green lives the need to express
wraps hills with respect
makes grassland honest
seduces moss
affirms trees
and vines decide its maze

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翻译 <> 郑单衣

剪掉一些綠色
為一小件新襯衫
或帶花邊的廚房窗簾
你使一株灌木成了孤兒
綠色為表達意願而活著
充滿敬畏纏繞山丘
用誠實生出草地
誘導苔蘚
攀上樹梢
藤蔓們設計著自己的迷宮

A resident of Hong Kong for more than a decade, Madeleine Marie Slavick's work has been published and exhibited in Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore and the United States. She is a leading member of Outloud, Hong Kong's highly successful society of English-language poets, and her work is included in the Outloud anthology. In addition to Round, co-authored with Barbara Baker, she has co-authored two books on China: Children in China (also with Barbara Baker) and China, The Dragon Awakes.

.
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Lake
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註册時間: 2007-01-09
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Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-01-23 10:11:58    發錶主題: 引用並回復

Concise and precise, delicate and fresh. The poet used minimal words to convey the importance of green, the nature.

I read the first four lines as the warning to human how green is deprived of its wholeness, “you have orphaned a shrub”; the next six lines show the reader a complete/whole green, with its respect and honesty to the hills and grasslands… Thus, it makes us to think shouldn’t human treat the nature the same as green does with respect and care, for human and nature cannot be separated, they are oneness, wholeness.

I also enjoyed the vividity and intimacy depicted in this poem through the personification of green. The poetic rhythm and assertive tone are strengthened by a series of verbs used: lives, wraps, makes, seduces, affirms…and the concrete words and abstract words (express, respect, honesty) are very well blended. The use of objects of shirt, curtain, and shrub makes me think suspiciously of the influence of Chinese poetry on the poet.

The translation is equally good. A nitpick on a possible ambiguity of the lines mentioned by Hepingdao earlier is
引用:
誘導苔蘚
攀上樹梢

The translation sounds more like 苔蘚 攀上樹梢,
but as a matter of fact, it shoud be "green".

And in
引用:
剪掉一些綠色
為一小件新襯衫

I prefer 剪掉一些綠色 一小件新襯衫

Again, this is just me. Other than that, a good translation.

Does 郑单衣 translate his own poems?
Looking forward to it.

Thanks for the post.

Lake
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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kokho
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kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-01-24 20:35:40    發錶主題: 引用並回復

[Does 郑单衣 translate his own poems? ]

No, it was Luo Hui....

Most of her poems are accompanied with photograph ...

Will try to upload some here ..

Cool
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Lake北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-01-25 06:40:13    發錶主題: 引用並回復

读了这

引用:
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翻译 <> 郑单衣


才有这
引用:

Does 郑单衣 translate his own poems?


糊涂了。 Confused
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kokho
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kokho北美楓文集
帖子發錶於: 2007-01-29 01:28:21    發錶主題: 引用並回復

单衣的华文诗,是罗辉单衣的。。。

Madeleine Marie Slavick的英文诗,是单衣翻译成华文的 !



Cool Laughing
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