| 是有缘 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 08 Feb 2008
 Posts: 741
 
 是有缘Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-12-08 16:08:30    Post subject: 雪 梅 |   |  
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				| 看似桃花却是梅, 含苞待放早春魁。
 从来傲骨殊难得,
 落雪痴情莫忘归。
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		| 黄洋界 探花
 
  
 Joined: 23 Mar 2007
 Posts: 3301
 Location: 多伦多,加拿大
 黄洋界Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-12-08 17:14:43    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 有缘兄盛赞雪梅之铮铮傲骨,好诗! 
 结句的主语应该是谁?雪梅?夫子自道?友人?难以确定.
 
 梅花有恋雪情结,此处若用"恋雪痴情",确定梅花作主语,
 
 则可与第三句互相呼应了,不知当否?
 _________________
 ++++++++++++++
 喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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		| 是有缘 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 08 Feb 2008
 Posts: 741
 
 是有缘Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-12-08 17:50:45    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 黄老师好!谢谢您欣赏。 
 按说,后两句是在提醒自己虽然非常喜欢梅花,但也不要在雪里看梅花发呆,以致忘了归去。
 
 但如果以先生梅花恋雪的思路的话,末句或可改为:
 
 看似桃花却是梅,
 含苞待放早春魁。
 从来傲骨殊难得,
 恋雪痴情抱梦归。
 _________________
 蜻蜓点水非无意 愁云化雨是有情
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		| 黄洋界 探花
 
  
 Joined: 23 Mar 2007
 Posts: 3301
 Location: 多伦多,加拿大
 黄洋界Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-12-08 23:54:48    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 改得好!梅恋雪,诗人恋梅,抱梦而归.环环相扣,相得益彰. _________________
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 喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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		| 白云闲人 探花
 
 
 Joined: 26 Aug 2007
 Posts: 3466
 
 白云闲人Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-12-09 09:03:48    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 咏梅好诗! _________________
 诗中岁月,
 笛里关山.
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		| 冰清 同进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 29 Mar 2007
 Posts: 1921
 
 冰清Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-12-09 16:17:28    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 转结自然、脱俗! |  | 
	
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