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几个短的 大家批
飞翔的夏天
童生


Joined: 09 Nov 2008
Posts: 42
Location: 中国石家庄
飞翔的夏天Collection
PostPosted: 2008-12-05 21:43:28    Post subject: 几个短的 大家批 Reply with quote

几个短的

《》初冬

风声灌进了耳膜
落叶是最后的管弦乐
隔着寒冷的高墙
我看见梅花开放的姿态
有一种凌寒的美
这不能阻止我断魂的偷窥
来年的粉蝶知道,它沾满的雪泥的香
一定会植遍我的周身和
瘦弱的尸骨

《》雪地上的麻雀

我所触及到的温暖
是一樽倒立在十二月的酒杯
是茫茫雪地上,一只麻雀啄雪的姿势

是的,它小小的喙
在叼啄着世界最后的心脏
一粒噙在它喉咙的雪
一粒最后让我怀想的麦粒
让我急促的脚步
在异乡布满风尘的路口
我和一只啄雪的麻雀
同时停了下来
并互相打探对方

《》仰望

我知道高空肯定有牧场
这时候不妨把自己当成一只羊
我咩咩的叫声会聚集些什么呢?

云朵是知趣的草原
它们超我围拢过来
我的牧羊靴子
早已经沾满了蒙古包的绿汁味道

2008.12

地址 中国石家庄市井陉职教中心 赵鹏飞收050300
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司马策风
举人


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection
PostPosted: 2008-12-05 22:26:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

有感觉,也有诗思,尚欠缺发酵和提炼。

问好!
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《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-12-09 22:42:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

《》仰望

我知道高空肯定有牧场
这时候不妨把自己当成一只羊
我咩咩的叫声会聚集些什么呢?

云朵是知趣的草原
它们超我围拢过来
我的牧羊靴子
早已经沾满了蒙古包的绿汁味道


这首还是不错的。似乎还可整理。
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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