Maple Review :: View topic - 瓷都里斯本（外一首）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

瓷都里斯本（外一首）

时东兵
举人

Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 1183
Location: 中国上海
时东兵Collection

Posted: 2008-12-04 19:47:44 Post subject: 瓷都里斯本（外一首）

瓷都里斯本（外一首）用火烧制的宗教神话至今还留有葡萄牙的温度经典故事经熊熊烈火的焙烧成了永恒打碎了散落一地是掠夺世界的帝国梦再看中国瓷器仍熠熠生辉罗卡角你可知道地到哪里结束海又从哪里开始？罗卡角的悬崖峭壁大西洋阵阵涛声回响诗人卡蒙斯的诗：大地到此结束海洋从这里开始上帝听见了地球的这一端一位东方诗人伫立东海之滨豪气冲天乾坤尽在手掌之中汇成海一样的诗：诗从这里开始永远也没有结束诗人听见了欢迎光临时东兵的博客：http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1246222181

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2008-12-05 22:07:44 Post subject:

顶一下。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-12-05 22:34:26 Post subject:

第一首前段很不错，遗憾是结尾的一句“再看中国瓷器 /仍熠熠生辉”显得生硬牵强，如果有比较自然的句子，即使不算惊人的语言，也是不错的。个见，仅供参考。 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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