Maple Review Home
   Chinese Literature Society of North America | Maple Review | Immigrants in Canada | Angel Studio | The Driftwood Artist Society | Ocean of Poetry | Island of Music
"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister  ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Sign inSign in   BlogsBlogs    Weblogs NewsWeblogs News   AlbumAlbum 
English Home Bilingual Home Chinese Home
Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌 Post new topic   Reply to topic
夜行的豹
轮回的马
童生


Joined: 23 Nov 2008
Posts: 4
Location: 四川夹江县察院街人和居
轮回的马Collection
PostPosted: 2008-11-23 16:43:03    Post subject: 夜行的豹 Reply with quote

木头们醒着。在走动的肩上
像过去一样
蹲在星光的背后 思想开始分枝
黑暗里的 一点亮

醒着 被铜层层包裹
他走得很快 把一些疼痛走完
就在水里
呈现睡眠状态


等到一个勇士的力气使尽
母兽把小兽送走
安静的根系 竖着耳朵
听到了骨骸的声响
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
司马策风
举人


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection
PostPosted: 2008-11-23 18:20:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

意象跳跃很大,似乎欠缺内在联系——即使藕断,尚需丝连,

这就是诗歌内在的“跳跃与联系的辨证关系”。

如果把握好这个分寸,必然有所长进!

个见,仅供参考。

问好!
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog Visit poster's website
轮回的马
童生


Joined: 23 Nov 2008
Posts: 4
Location: 四川夹江县察院街人和居
轮回的马Collection
PostPosted: 2008-11-23 19:31:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

司马策风 wrote:
意象跳跃很大,似乎欠缺内在联系——即使藕断,尚需丝连,
...

有点,谢读。
我会融合的。
问好。
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Emoticons
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Exclamation Question Idea Arrow
View more Emoticons
Page 1 of 1           View previous topic View next topic    
Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌    Post new topic   Reply to topic
Jump to:  


Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME