qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2008-11-19 08:15:58 Post subject: 五绝 破舟曲 |
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五绝 破舟曲
波中旧扁舟,虫蛀烂船头。
贪腐倡独立,台湾一小丑。 |
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钓月 秀才
Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 409 Location: 中国江苏 钓月Collection |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2008-11-19 15:33:32 Post subject: |
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| qinghongh wrote: |
五绝 破舟曲
波中一扁舟,虫蛀烂船头。
贪腐倡独立,难当大海流。 |
如在第一句中再引入该人姓氏,可改为:
波中旧扁舟,虫蛀烂船头。
贪腐倡独立,难当大海流。 |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2008-11-19 16:10:32 Post subject: |
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送陈水扁呢? 改得好  |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2008-11-19 17:45:28 Post subject: |
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| 白水 Moonlight wrote: |
送陈水扁呢? 改得好  |
波,水也,旧,陈旧也。陈旧水上一扁舟而已。破船! |
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晓松 举人

Joined: 26 Feb 2007 Posts: 1192
晓松Collection |
Posted: 2008-11-21 17:04:47 Post subject: |
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破舟曲写的好。跟一个:
陈水成污水,阿扁该当扁。
聚敛不义财,报应在早晚。 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2008-11-21 18:12:56 Post subject: |
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| 晓松 wrote: |
破舟曲写的好。跟一个:
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晓松兄和诗痛快! |
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野航 秀才
Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 547 Location: toronto 野航Collection |
Posted: 2008-11-25 17:29:52 Post subject: |
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| 晓松 wrote: |
破舟曲写的好。跟一个:
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写得好,跟得更好! _________________ 回归自然 回归心灵 回归传统 |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2008-11-26 08:33:53 Post subject: |
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| 野航 wrote: |
| 晓松 wrote: |
破舟曲写的好。跟一个:
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写得好,跟得更好! |
谢野航兄! |
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qinghongh 榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
Posted: 2008-11-26 14:40:09 Post subject: |
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| qinghongh wrote: |
五绝 破舟曲
波中一扁舟,虫蛀烂船头。
贪腐倡独立,难当大海流。 |
改一改(仄韵):
五绝 破舟曲
波中旧扁舟,虫蛀烂船头。
贪腐倡独立,台湾一小丑。 |
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